Notch.exe 2: The Realm of Notch

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I managed to fight off the evil Notches in the last story. I didn't really die. HA! Oh and real Notch, don't be offended. This was just to be funny, and no. I am not affiliated with Mojang (sorry for the boring stuff).

Escaping Mojang HQ

I tripped one Notch, and black smoke billowed from his mouth as he distentegrated. They all simultaniously shot lasers from their eyes, only to hit eachother when I ducked.

It turned out that one of them had had a gun that he didn't use, so I took it. With a pull of the trigger I blasted down the wooden door in the corner of the room.

In the next corridor, there were purple torches so I could actually see the place. It had mossy stone brick walls and an obsidian floor like the shrine in Minecraft.

Every now and then a Notch would come out of a door or around a corner with a weapon. The Notches gradually increased in strength as I progressed. The next few ended up having DC-15 blasters similar to mine.

When I finally reached the door, my clothes were smoking from the enemy laser blasts.

I opened the door, and light poured into the hall. I couldn't believe what I saw. It was the same throne room from the game! Notch had an white sceptor with a red gem.

With a wave of his sceptor, hundreds of Notch heads began spiraling around his throne. I ran to the nearest door before I could be crushing by an incoming head.

I was standing on the walls of a quartz castle, and down a gravel road was a modern building. The Mojang logo was painted on the side. No, I did not enter the building. I ran away.

Section heading

When I was finally home, something was off. The light in my house was reddish, and even the sun's light was. There were many other subtle things like that. Sometimes, if I really looked hard, the walls in my house looked like quartz.

But it really became obvious when I decided to go on a walk. Everyone had a Notch hat, and there shirts all had the logo of Mojang.

I asked someone what was going on, and instead of answering, they asked me a question: "Do you play Minecraft?"

"I asked you a question".

"Yesterday I built a huge castle. But then I got griefed. It really sucked".

I decided to ask the wise old man across the street. "Why is everything Mojang-ish? Is Notch taking over the world?"

"Oh, no, nothing like that," replied the old man. "We are in the realm of Notch. This is the source of his essence, and you should only be able to get here through Minecraft".

With that, I ran home. I had to get to my REAL home. When I logged onto my computer, it had Notche.exe instead of Minecraft. But I figured Notch.exe would work. I went through the whole process, but this time I geared up first.

When I went to his throne room he said "Here to fight?".

Instead of answering I shot my bow at him. He deflected it with some sort of force field and it hit me. As I lay on the floor, wounded, he laughed.

"You know you shoudn't kill me. After this boss battle, you probably know that you go to the normal world, right? Well, if you kill me the Notch world is destroyed. You can't go back to the real one because YOU will also be destroyed".

"Okay. Sounds cool. Can you kill me, then?"


He killed me with the Notch head magic, and I ended up in my home dimension. The problem was that I was in the Gibson desert in Australia. I guess that's where Notch's fortress is. You'd think it would be Sweden. Hmph. Whatever. I could go home.

So I did. THE END. OR IS IT?

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