Odd Tangent Copypasta

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You'd probably thinking, there goes that dumb stick figure again. He's so stupid and annoying. And if you thought that, well you'd be wrong. Because I'm not stupid. I guess it never occurred to you, that I don't speak the same language as you. In my language, the words "aw, seriously" actually has several meanings, that you couldn't possibly understand. Oh, and also if you thought my name was David, you'd be wrong again, because my name isn't David. My name is actually word that you probably can't pronounce, but the reason people think my name is David is because I come from a group of stick figures, known as The Davidians. Now, there are a lot of Davidians, for example Dora is a Davidian. But she's not my sister, she's my cousin so get that right. While some Davidians look different and weird, most Davidians looked exactly the same. So that like other people, they can't tell the difference. So they just call us all David as if they were the same person, which are not, and that is kinda offensive to me, so yeah. I hope you realized that my name isn't David. So, I hope that helps you understand who I am, that I'm not just a weird stick figure. So anyway, I keep getting asked the same question over and over again. Why is David so fat? I mean, if you compare it to a normal stick figure, he's just like, so obese! I mean he must've just let himself go! Well, I didn't become fat because I'm lazy, as you probably thought. See, a long, long time ago, or really, it was just one year ago, but it has to sound cool like that, I used to look exactly like that normal stick figure you have in your mind, I was like really thin and stuff, I was really thin. But, things changed. So, one day, a long time ago, I was playing with my many knives, and I realized that the thinner the blade was, the easier it was to cut stuff. And that was pretty cool I thought. So, I then looked at my arm, and I realized that my arm is a line. And a line has no thickness, right? So, it's pretty much infinitely thin, so it's infinitely sharp. If I realized I could cut through anything extremely easily, it was like I was cutting through air, when I'm really like, cutting through steel or something like that, that was really cool. And for the rest of that day, I was just slice things up because it was so fun. And then a couple of hours later, when I was cutting up or building something, I'm not really sure, I realized, if my arms can cut through things very easily, why don't my legs cut through the ground? And that's when I realized, they do. So, I fell into the ground, and that wasn't really fun. Luckily my head didn't fall through, because my head is a ball or a sphere, so, I'm just sitting here with only my head showing, and I realized I can't move at all. I'm not sure exactly what to do. I have to be careful not to move my limbs too quickly, or else I would just slice myself up, and that doesn't sound very fun. So, as I'm trying to stay still as possible, I decided to call for help because I can't really do anything. I soon realized that all the other Davidians are in the same problems too, so yeah, we're all just kind of stuck and I don't really know what to do. So, after about five days I think? I realized there's an apple tree, right by where I fell. And after enough pounding with my head, some apples fell down, and I ate them, and well I kept doing that for months, and eventually I gained enough weight so that my legs were wide enough so they wouldn't cut through the ground, and that I could stand on the ground for once, instead of just falling right through. So that's why I'm so fat today. Because I don't wanna fall through the ground and be stuck there, like before. And so that's why I'm so fat. And that pretty much answers that question I hope.


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