Patrick's Degradation
Spongebob Squarepants is such a happy and cheery show. It has characters such as Spongebob, Squidward, Sandy, Mr. Krabs and many more. But it isn't as cheery as you might think.
I was flipping through channels one day because I was trying to find something to watch while I ate lunch. I suddenly found that Nick was airing a new Spongebob episode. I went to that channel. There were a few commercials before the program. One caught my eye. An announcer for the commercial said as follows:
"A new, special Spongebob episode comes on in just a moment! But don't switch to another channel, because the episode is so special, this is the only time you get to watch it, only on Nick!"
I was confused. It was so special, it would never air again?
I continued waiting. A few minutes later, the familiar Spongebob intro began to play. It looked slightly off-centered and tilted, but I didn't care enough to question it. After the intro, the screen turned back to normal. The title card was blue and it read "Patrick's Degradation". There was no sound for the title card, though. I was uneasy. The opening credits played. Bubbles covered the screen, only to soon disappear and transition to the next scene. Molaka'i Nui A, one of the most happy music tracks in the series, began playing.
While the sun was coming up, Spongebob was seen happily skipping to the Krusty Krab to do his job as a fry cook. Patrick's rock was seen, slightly open. Patrick peeked out at Spongebob. The happy music that was once playing immediately stopped and was replaced with sad music.
"How does he keep this happiness up so well?" Patrick moaned. I was a little frightened at this sentence.
"It's like he uses something to do it! And he thinks I'm soooo happy all the time! But he doesn't know how I am," Patrick continued. "I can't live with it. If I can't live with it, I'll at least stop it!"
At this point I was starting to get really scared. I knew why the episode was only airing once.
"I must think of a plan. A plan to stop Spongebob's joy once and for all!" A bubble transition appeared briefly. In the next scene, Patrick was walking to Spongebob's house with a very serious expression. Patrick swung open the door. Spongebob was nowhere to be found, so he was probably still at work. Patrick grabbed the TV and smashed it into the wall. He then ripped at the couch with a crowbar he had brought along with him. He also had hammers, axes and other various tools in a box that he brought with him also. He was destroying everything. When no furniture remained, Patrick grabbed a sledgehammer and began making huge holes in the walls. The pineapple was crumbling above Patrick, who was laughing psychotically. A faint crying could be heard. Then a voice whispered "Save yourself if you still have the energy", which made me feel horrified. I couldn't believe that Patrick, the pure meaning of fun and joy, would do such a destructive act.
The scene panned to Spongebob, who was getting his things together before he left for home. He sighed a happy sigh and skipped away. He slowed down his skipping until he stopped. His face was in utter shock and horror. He trembled as he ran to his dilapidated pineapple home. He slipped through the open door and stopped to see Patrick, his best friend, turning the house to rubble. A single tear ran down Spongebob's face. Spongebob took a step backwards.
"Patrick!" he yelled. He paused for a moment. The screen began to get redder. "Why?!"
"I'm sorry, Spongebob, but I can't live with your mocking joy! It's all too much!" Patrick growled at a shocked Spongebob.
Spongebob tried to attack Patrick, but Patrick swung an axe and the scene immediately changed to Spongebob limping out of his house with half of a leg and part of his face missing from his body, wheezing pained screams and making ear-piercing choking noises. I couldn't believe I had just watched this grueling horror happening in front of me. I wanted to change the channel but I had to see what would happen next.
Spongebob suddenly slammed his face on the ground, looking pale. Patrick walked behind him.
"He's dead. Finally!" Patrick cheered. He ran to Squidward's house. He knocked on the door. As voices could be heard mumbling and crying, Squidward opened the door. Patrick pulled out a pocket knife and jabbed Squidward through the side of his head. Squidward, with a surprised expression, slumped over and fell to the ground, blood dripping from the door. Static started to overlap Squidward's corpse. Then, Patrick left the scene. About fifteen seconds passed. The camera panned to Mr. Krabs' home, a giant anchor. Patrick stood at the door, looking down at something. The camera quickly zoomed into the object Patrick was looking at. It turned out to be Mr. Krabs' dead body.
Patrick began going into disgusting detail of how the corpse looked. "His arm is all the way over where his eyes are, and his eyes are in my tummy! He's got a cracked shell because I hit it with the sledgehammer and..." I didn't hear anything else because I had ran into the bathroom to vomit, as that description was sickening and repulsive to hear. I wished that I had never watched this episode, and it was just a bad dream. I went back into the room, and thank God, the scene had ended. But the next one wasn't any better.
Instead of the music that was playing, there were sounds of people screaming at each other... they were saying that they were going to kill each other... and then you could hear punching and stabbing...
With those horrible sounds happening in the background, there was Patrick, walking to Sandy's place. It was presumably sunset, as the sky was pink and the half-visible sun was bright red. Sandy was working on an experiment in the tree in her treedome. Patrick opened both doors that led into the dome. He was holding a large rock. "Sandy! I want to show you something scientific!" Patrick said. I was a little confused, but I guessed that Patrick might have become more light-hearted because Sandy was friendly.
Sandy jumped from the tree with a "Yee-haw!" and fell to the ground with a somersault.
"Howdy, Patrick," she said in a strong Texan accent. "What's up?"
"So, do you see this rock?" Patrick asked.
"Yup," Sandy replied.
"Watch this," Patrick explained. He then lifted it up, heaving. He tossed it at the glass.
"PATRICK, NO!" Sandy gasped. The rock broke through the glass and water poured like a waterfall into the dome. Sandy screamed, her lungs filling to the brim with water. Patrick smiled as the water gushed into the hole in the glass. Sandy's head was red and her lips were blue. She scurried to find an air spot, but the water got the best of her. Her body floated out into the ocean. Patrick grabbed her and bashed her on the street, leaving her head smashed and her brain exposed. Blood drizzled out from her nauseatingly destroyed skull.
Patrick looked at her. He frowned. "I killed everyone I've ever loved." He began to realize that what he did was bad. He pulled out a butcher knife from his back pocket. He put it to his throat. He hesitated long enough to say through his teeth, "I'm so sorry." Tears rolled down his face and he finally slit his neck. He bled all over the street as Gary the Snail was watching. Gary looked at the camera with a traumatized expression on his face. He meowed a frightened meow. The camera faded to black. The TV shut off on its own. I was happy that it was over, but horrified that I had watched it. Every night, I think of how Patrick slaughtered everyone who made him who he was. I think of how he was so innocent. But... I don't know what to believe in that show. I've completely stopped watching TV. I think it's for the best...
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Originally on Geoshea's Lost Episodes Wiki
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