Penis Sharpener

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Mr bean.png   NSFW WARNING

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...Or in all situations, at any time, any place, and by any audience for that matter.

I use my modest penis fairly frequent in order to have sex with this woman I've been talking to online for the last few years, and I just can't imagine sex would be any fun if somebody removed my penis, but, much like this other guy here, that is exactly what is happening.

Each week when I sign in for my sexual session, the woman tells me that there seems to be less penis than the last time, and while it's not a lot, she certainly isn't wrong. In the recent months, I don't even bother taking my self-warming, self-lubricating fleshlight out of the carrier. We're too fascinated by where my penis is going and how much more can possibly be taken. When we first started, back when my high-powered fleshlight hadn't had its tickler spines worn to nubs, my penis was actually quite large. Very heavy and wobbly even when not fully engorged. I was able to slap it around playfully to wake it up like the big belly of a dad on a Saturday morning, and also like a slumbering dad, it used to have a pleasant beefy smell. But now? Well, my penis certainly doesn't smell like much, and it's more of a taquito than a burrito. Even the huevos are acting loco.

This woman I talk to is technically a subscription service, so she can't say it directly, but she's certainly implied that the spinning/twisting action of my high-end fleshlight is pencil sharpening my penis down to nothing. I think there must be other factors at play, but there's no denying my penis reductionification all began when I let that fancy fleshlight go to town on my while the lady on the screen wiggled her toes for me and named each on of them after my favorite Marvel side characters. I swear that fleshlight kicks it up a notch when Korg is doing "his" thing! The thought of that used to get the old walrus rolling back into the ocean, but these days, it's just a lemming in its hidey hole.

Is it the fleshlight? I think they'd warn a customer about the penis removing effects. I can't believe that's the problem no matter how concerned the woman is. No, I can't give it up. I'll just have to find something that can grow my penis. A reverse fleshlight, maybe? If such a thing exists. Well, perhaps I can just put my own fleshlight in reverse?

Maybe I can return this skinny cub back to its big grizz glory?

Wish me luck.


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