Phospholipid.EXE

He don't listen to nobody's rules but his own, and sometimes not even his own rules. He's the coolest phospholipid who ever lived.

If you're reading this, I'm dead and Phospholipid.EXE should also be dead. EVIL PATRIXXX help you if he's not.

A few weeks ago, I was working with a team of scientists who were attempting to communicate with microscopic organisms. The phospholipid was one of these. Along the way, we established contact with one who called himself "Phospholipic.EXE". Surprised to hear that a philospholipid had human intelligence, we fired up the enlargement device and blew up the phospholipid to human size. Then he went crazy and killed all the scientists. I was the only one to escape, but a few days later, Phospholipid.EXE came to my door wearing sunglasses and carrying a bag of cash and a gun. He told me that he was an edgy ass motherfuckin phospholipid who didn't listen to anyone's rules but his own, and sometimes not even his own rules. He told me that the cops were after him for robbing a bank and asked to hide in my house.

I objected, but he held me hostage. When the cops came, they couldn't notice that I was being held against my will and after they left, Phospholipid.EXE was about to kill me when EVIL PATRIXXX broke the window, jumped in and ate Phospholipid.EXE.

"Thanks, EVIL PATRIXXX!"

"Everybody gets one." EVIL PATRIXXX disappeared and I never saw him again.

I keep seeing phospholipids in the shadows. I think that Phospholipid.EXE's friends are trying to get revenge on me, but I know that Phospholipid.EXE had to have crawled out of EVIL PATRIXXX's anus by now and he's after me. I can only hope that EVIL PATRIXXX's stomach broke him down to a point at which he's no longer a threat. Or better, dead. Wait ...

Fuck ...

NOPE! I DON'T THINK SO!

HE'S OUTSIDE THE FUCKING DOOR!

HOLY SHIT, HE BROKE IT DOWN! NOOOOOOOO-

Hi, I'm Phospholipid.EXE. I'm an edgy phospholipid who don't listen to no one's rules but my own. But sometimes it's lonely bein a giant phospholipid. Any ladies out there wanna hook up with me, call 1800-PHOSCOOLIPID now and I'll brush your hair, tell you you're beautiful and destroy your pussy. Mostly destroyin your pussy though, cause I'm not into that gay ass romance shit.

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