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I've been a Pokémon fan for as long as anyone can remember. I've been playing it ever since red and blue. So long I've been a fan that my girlfriend broke up with me because of my addiction. I have an ENTIRE file dedicated to lots of ROMs that are all Pokémon games and Pokémon rom hacks, such as Pokémon Snakewood. One day, I was browsing the interwebs on my Allanwar Firteen Lerpterp looking for a good ROM hack to celebrate my 1,337th completion of Pokémon Emerald and my 80,085th playthrough of Fire Red, when I came upon a ROM claiming to be a ROM hack of Pokémon Yellow, and I grew ecstatic. I didn't even notice that the hack only had 1 star on the site, I just automatically clicked the "Download Now, Cuck!" button next to the custom Box Art of a Pikachu having a Threesome with a Luxray and a Manectrike. I waited a PAINFUL 3 seconds of downloading. When the file finished downloading, I was little but shocked to see the ROM came in a compressed folder. I opened it up out of curiosity, and the ROM came with a picture of the Box Art. When I double clicked it, the image of the Pikachu having the threesome with the Luxray and the Manectrike popped up, but something was different. There was now what seemed to be a dirty mattress under the banging trio, covered in jizz. After about 15 minutes of jacking off to the wonderful image, I reluctantly exited out of the photo and started up VBA (Visual Boy Advance for all of you n00bs out there who are too goody two-shoes to emulate) and opened the game.
The emulator froze on a white screen for about 1.860376936583 seconds until I threatened the emulator in my mind CUZ IMA SYCIC TYP POKEMAN!!! Then a command prompt popped up, with the words "What are you?" at the top in big, bold, hyper-realistic, red, pixelated letters at the top of it (Don't ask why the pixelated letters could be hyper-realistic, it's my scary story, so shut up, meanie) so I decided to be the HUGEST dick in the galaxy and I hurriedly mashed down my caps lock and typed in "I'M MEWTWO, MOTHA FUCKA!!!11ONEONE" and surprisingly, the game started to load. Instead of the normal Pokémon Yellow title screen, the screen had NO title, just two pokemans on the screen. First, there was a Butterfree with Morgan Freeman's head photoshopped onto it's head, and a Pikachu with Leonardo DiCaprio's head shopped onto it's head too. I decided to call these...things... Pokémen, specifically Butterfreeman and Leonardo DiChu. I pressed start and the game automatically had me name my character, I named him the name I always named all of my characters, "BUTPLU", and then I went to my Rival's name, "FUCKWAD", yeah, those are good names for my characters! Good job, Brain! Then I began the game proper, I walked out of my house and was heading down the main path to the grass to trigger Professor SMOAK (Lolz, I makes funny) but then my character faceplanted on the ground, and a Textbox Appeared saying "GET 360 NOSCOPED MOTHA FUCKA! MUMMY GET DA CAMERA!!!!" and over the "Whited Out" screen, there were air horns honking sad music, and in place of how I ran to the nearest PokéCenter to protect the fainted and hurt Pokémon from further harm, it just said "U got kill'd from not enuff sweg" then the ROM deleted itself from my compooter.
I've never played another Pokémon game since because I always think it will be "fucking pointless." Oh? The picture? Well, that stayed on my hard drive forever, and made way for some MAJOR jackoff sessions at 1AM. I will never forget what this ROM left me, the majorly smexy picture that I won't show because it's mine. MINE. And the magnificent memories that ButterFreman left behind...
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