Pokémon Snap

So, I have wanted to play a game called Pokemon Snap. I am a huge Nintendo 64 game collector, and I needed to get Pokemon Snap. So, I ordered it on eBay. It said Pokemon Snap for $6.99. It also is supposed to be like new. So, I ordered it. A week later, it finally came. But it was just a blank cartridge with the words "PKMN SNAP" written on it with permanent marker.

I started the game, and the intro played. But the intro was weird. It was playing Lavender Town music and Todd Snap, the main character, tried taking a picture of Mew. He had successfully gotten one but for some odd reason, Mew had hyper-realistic red eyes.

Then, the intro ended early and Pokemon Snap started. I chose to name my character. I named him GINGER just to be silly and joke about him having red hair. Then, Professor Oak said "Hello there, GINGER! I'm Oak, the Pokemon professor." Then, he kept telling you how you take pictures of Pokemon and stuff. And so, the first level started. This is when things went horribly wrong.

Instead of a cheerful theme playing, I heard the Lavender Town theme playing. I started the level taking pictures of Pidgey. When I took a picture of the two Pidgeys in front of me, they exploded, blood and guts everywhere. Kind of like in Call of Duty when you're badly injured, there was blood on the camera. Then I took a picture of Doduo and Pikachu. They both turned into skeletons. And then, I took a picture of Butterfree. It fell to the ground and decayed. This was sick.

I paused the game and tried turning it off. It didn't turn off when I hit the off switch. And it didn't reset when I hit the reset button. So, I tried unplugging it. It was still on. So, I had no choice but to continue playing. I took a picture of Meowth. Then, he grabbed his heart and fell over like he was having a heart attack. And I took a picture of Snorlax, and it exploded like a Boomer from Left 4 Dead. GINGER was evil!

I took a picture of Lapras from far away, and then, the Lapras sank into the water, dissappeared, and the water became from blue to blood-red. And I also took a picture of either a Krabby or a Kingler. And it fell to pieces. I was taking pictures of more Butterfrees, and they fell on the ground and decayed. In the game, many Pokemon were killed by the flash, and finally, I beat the level. It was so gross watching the Pokemon die brutal deaths.

And at the end, it said "0000 pictures have been taken." WHAT?! I took at least thirty pictures! Then, it actually showed the pictures I took. What's weird is he gives exactly 500 points for size and 1000 points for pose no matter what way the picture is. And he gave extra points if the Pokemon are dead in the picture. What a sick man.

So, I moved on to the tunnel level. The first picture I took was of a Pikachu riding an Electrode. It was pretty cute. But when I took a picture of it, the Electrode used self-destruct and made Pikachu's blood and guts show. It was awful. But then, I took a picture of an Electabuzz right by an Electrode. It killed the Electabuzz. Then, a few minutes later, I finally finished the tunnel level. And when I did, Professor Oak gave me apples.

In the original Pokemon Snap, you can use apples to throw at Pokemon to get better pictures. It may be abuse to Pokemon, but it's always funny to watch Pokemon get hit with apples. But in this Pokemon Snap, I hit some Pokemon with apples, and their heads fell off and decayed. It was disgusting to watch that.

There was also a part in the original Pokemon Snap where you can throw an apple at a Charmeleon and he gets knocked into lava, and then evolves into Charizard, so you can get a better picture. In this game, you throw an apple at Charmeleon and he gets knocked into lava. But instead of evolving, Charmeleon's skin melts off, bone showing. Then, a Charizard skeleton comes out of the lava.

I had to keep playing the whole game. I obtained the Pester Balls. And I poisoned the Pokemon with the Pester Balls and they fell to the ground, dead. So, I finally got to the end of the game, trying to take a picture of Mew. Mew still had hyper-realistic eyes. You have to throw Pester Balls at it, and then, it exploded, kind of like the Pidgeys at the beginning.

Then, the background and everything disappeared. All I could see now was GINGER. It was GINGER with red eyes, wearing a blood-stained shirt and speaking Japanese words in G-Major. It was really disturbing to see it. Afterwards, the Pokemon Snap cartridge vanished into thin air, and the game finally stopped.

But before the cartridge vanished, GINGER said something in English and in G-Major. He said "You are a killer. A Pokemon killer" at me.

Later, I found out the cartridge was made by a Japanese serial killer that lived in South Carolina. He put all the sick images in the game based off the victims he's killed. And at the end, he recorded his voice in G-Major and voiced GINGER. I found out that he was executed in July 2007, and he may have possessed the Pokemon Snap cartridge that I owned. Afterwards, I chose to play some Mario Party 3 to try to forget the evil game.

What happens next.

I heard someone got the evil Pokemon Snap cartridge and contacted me. And he showed me some pictures from the saved data to report. Pictures of dead children that the serial killer murdered. It also had pictures of dead Pokemon, and Pidgeys eating organs of a dead child. Then, the cartridge disappeared again.

Those pictures were not 64-bit pictures, but real-life pictures. If you see this cartridge, stay away from it.

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