Pooh Bear Man

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If you're walking in the woods at night - be it the 100-acre wood or any other - you are almost bound to come across a certain man. He is wearing roughly the same outfit as Christopher Robin from "Winnie The Pooh". He wears the same brown slacks and yellow vest over a white dress shirt. His slacks are caked with dirt and blood, and his vest is lightly splattered with the same. Over his head lays a honey pot which mimics the one in the show, so none can see his face. In this pot is etched a dark, burnt smile. He brandishes an iron poker, so you must follow these instructions very closely if you value your life.

Do not attempt to run away, or he will kill you on the spot. His speed will almost certainly supersede yours, so any efforts of escape will be quickly rendered futile. He will approach you asking this question in a weak voice:

"Do you remember the night Pooh Bear died?"

To this day, no one has deciphered the meaning of this cryptic yet senseless phrase. Upon numerous attempts and searches, no one has ever found any Winnie The Pooh cartoon or story book referencing the lovable bear's death. The above paragraph is just background information for anyone interested. Here we continue the instructions.

If you answer his question with a no, he will eviscerate you on the spot with his poker. If you reply yes, he will produce a honey pot (similar in appearance to his) filled with lava and force it on your head. There is only one answer which will save your life.

As a response, you must say "It was sad." Any less or anymore will result in your death. Upon this answer he will give you a closed honey pot. Again, this will look like the one atop his head. Open it and do the following.

It will be full of human organs of various types. Hearts, livers and the like. You must consume one heart and bite off one end of an intestine. If you gag, he will kill you. If you choose anything else or have any less, he will kill you. After you consume the heart and bite of intestine, he will say this:

"Run along."

And you must do just that.



Credited to Dubiousdugong

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