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Excerpt from local newspaper:

At 11:00 PM last night, a fat, snorlax of a man was seen running through a Manhattan city street with a gun. The word "QWERTY" was written on his tee shirt. He is wanted for killing fifteen ppl.

If you have seen this fat man, please alert the authorities by screaming "I LIKE MONKEY TURDS AND EATING CHICKEN NUGGETS ON FRIDAY NIGHTS!" In six different languages nine times loud enough for the neighbors to call the police to report a noise complaint so you can tell the cops about the man, be it they don't arrest you first.

If you don't want to be arrested, tell the cop you have a cat having diarrhea you need to take care of.

The fat man is sti11 at larg3.

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