Rat Man

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...Or in all situations, at any time, any place, and by any audience for that matter.

"Rat Man was an old legend"

"He was a super hero back in the mid 1880's saving people and shit"

"His story was that he got mutated in a factory"

"Now he's half human, quarter rat, 24.9 percent hillbilly, and 0.01 percent on having super powers"

"But, since he was a hillbilly, he said "fuck this shit, imma gonna save the world!" and he drank a lot of beer before going out."

"He saved the world by sacrificing himself to a hungry pack of canibal wolves that were going to eat themselves."

"Then no one ever saw Rat Man ever again"

"Until in 2012, that is"

"As when Johnson came onto the island and died of starvation"

"Rat Man saw him come onto the island with his ass lasers and became very interested in being close to him"

"But, afraid of his identity being exposed, he hid out of the bunch of Cave People."

"As soon as Johnson landed he screamed with a roaring fart "I KNOW YOU, YOU'RE RAT MAN!!!!"

"Rat man said "shit titty fuck!" and gave a grin like this :("

"Then he dissapeared for no apparent reason"

"Then as Johnson slept over the night, Rat Man crawled inside his ass and took a nap there and saw that when Johnson snored his ass would give out mini rainbows"

"He was excited by this, and also he had a mini cup and he drank a rainbow right before his very eyes."

"It tasted like mud, pizza, and cotton candy combined"

"Then Johnson died and Rat Man saw Johnson die before his very eyes, then he saw a picture of him and his wife, Jessica, and it had a return address."

"Rat Man sent the letter."

"Then after several years, with Johnson's corpse nearly decomposing, Rat Man gave him some beer that he found in his pocket."

"That brought Johnson back to life and he shot out a fart rainbow."

"Johnson then flew up into the sky, with Rat Man, casting a humongous rainbow across the world, ending all of the wars, and giving every a dirt/beer/cotton candy- like rainbow to drink"

"Then he saw Jessica again and his son for the very first time Johnson Jr."

"Jessica cried, and Johnson Jr. gave a wet fart (which means that Johnson Jr. was happy and sad by seeing his father"

"Then Jessica's Vagina Boob got wet, and it squirted out milk too"

"Then Dick Salts, Vagina Salts, Dagick Salts, and their new child, Vagick Salts came to see what has happened"

"That goes for Tender Nipples, The Doctor, and The Genital Orcs."

"Amazed by this reunion of this group, plus new members into the bunch, they started having group sex and doing the hokey pokey."

"Rat Man was well known again, he had bitches here, and had hoe's there. No one knows where Rat Man is at, but we all do know is that we have a Rat Man inside of our hearts."

"A really obnoxious, hillbilly, half human, 0.01 superhuman, quarter rat person"

Created by the Creepypasta Chat

Written by Fatal Disease
Content is available under CC BY-SA

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