Ringing In My Ear

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November 1st, 2015

Hello. My name is Jyn. I've decided to keep a journal because I really don't have anything better to do. You'd be surprised how many people on the internet keep a journal. There are even some sites where you can share journal entries (which is creepy) but I'll just keep this journal between me and Microsoft Word. Nothing really exciting happened today. 7th grade was boring as usual, and I had Wendy's for dinner. Going to bed now. Maybe I'll record my dreams, too...

November 2nd, 2015

Had a weird dream last night. I was walking into Taco Bell and I ordered a burrito. The cashier was turned away from my face, so I asked him again. The cashier slowly turned around, revealing that his head was nothing but a golden bell. I woke up in a cold sweat. School was tough today. Everyone's speaking so quietly, I can barely hear them. Oh, well.

November 3rd, 2015

Had the same dream again. Everyone's getting quieter and quieter. I could barely hear everyone laugh when Mr. Butler dropped a beaker in science class. I tried to tell my brother but he just moved his lips without speaking instead of responding to me, then he laughed and said I was fine. Screw him.

November 4th, 2015

No dreams tonight. The school nurse came to our classes today to test our hearing and sight. I passed the sight test no problem, but when it came time to do the hearing test, I couldn't hear any of the beeps. The nurse called my mom and told her I might have hearing loss. At least I don't have to do music class again.

November 6th, 2015

Forgot to write in my journal yesterday. Nothing really interesting happened yesterday, anyway. My doctor's appointment isn't until the 13th. However, I did have a different dream last night. I was in a museum, looking at the Liberty Bell. But there was no crack on it. Then all of a sudden, a loud ringing sound erupted from out of nowhere, and the Liberty Bell cracked. I covered my ears until it was over, then I took my hands off my ears and realized they were covered in blood. I woke up. and my pillow has blood all over it. Horrified, I grabbed the house phone and dialed 911. An ambulance came to pick me up. When the paramedics stepped out, they looked confused. Then they started talking, and all that I heard was ringing like in the dream, but quieter. I pointed to my ear, and they saw the blood. I was driven to the hospital and thankfully allowed to write down my thoughts in my journal. The doctors also type what they want to say to me on a computer and show it to me, and I respond. Going to bed now I'm exhausted.

November 13th, 2015

Doctor Jason visited me today. I was given the awful news that I was deaf. But the fact was, I WASN'T! I could only hear the ringing, getting louder and louder every time someone spoke. I can't take this much longer. I'm thinking about jumping out the hospital window. At least they let me play the Nintendo DS they have at the hospital. I don't mind playing on the DS. The only game they have is Kirby Super Star Ultra. Almost done with Dyna Blade, I could use a good wiki...

November 15th, 2015

Beat Meta Knight's Revenge on Kirby Super Star Ultra. Unfortunately, the hospital has crap internet, so I can't get on to any wiki. I like finding things in games out for myself, though. You know what else in the hospital is crap? THE FOOD. The steak is chewy and I'm convinced there's no actual fruit in the fruit cups. I tried asking for Wendy's again but the doctors said that Wendy's was "unhealthy" and "not the best meal for someone laying in a bed all day" or something like that. It's hard to remember things with that CONSTANT RINGING!

November 16th, 2015

They let me have Taco Bell. I refused to eat it.

November 17th, 2015

Typing becoming increasingly harder with all the ringing going around. I'm sorry if some of my entries are short, but I just can't do this for very long. I'm also giving up on Kirby Super Star Ultra. I wish people would shut up...

November 18th, 2015

I actually HEARD something in my dreams. It was the song "Hell's Bells" and a demonic bell with piercing red eyes covered in hyper-realistic blood stared at me while it played. Fuck you, fate.

November 20th, 2015

I'm going to kill myself. I can't take it anymore.

November 21st, 2015

Tried jumping out the window but a nurse stopped me. They're watching me more often now, and that means more talking... and more ringing.

November 23rd, 2015

Told the nurse what was going on with me and she didn't believe me. Then she blabbed on the phone for twenty minutes and I was sure my head was going to explode from all the ringing. Wait... explode... head... that gives me an idea...

November 27th, 2015

Released from the hospital today. Mom let me buy anything I wanted and I chose a chemistry kit. She looked a little puzzled but ultimately didn't know what I was doing. I'm going to miss her...

November 28th, 2015

Dad took back the chemistry kit after watching a Youtube video about it, the same one I saw in science class that told you that it basically would explode. (Thanks Mr. Butler)

November 29th, 2015

My parents and brother went to see a movie. Tried breaking into Dad's gun cabinet. After five or so attempts an alarm sounded (which I couldn't hear) and I couldn't put in numbers anymore. Cops showed up at the house a few minutes later, and so did my parents. I tried grabbing a cop's gun and he slapped my hand away and arrested me. I'm going to be in juvenile hall until 2016...

February 6th, 2016

Finally released from juvenile hall. At this point each ring made my ears bleed, and it happened even when people weren't talking. The first thing I did when I got home was grab a kitchen knife and lock myself in my room. I'll be writing my suicide note here in my journal, the only one other than me that knows what's really going on.

Dearest family and friends,

I can't take the ringing anymore. It's gotten to the point where it makes every second of my life extremely loud and painful. I know you don't believe me, but at least do me a favor. It's my dying wish. Destroy any and all bells you find in the house. I don't care how, just do it. The accursed instrument has made me want to end my life before I do anything worthwhile. Also, if you can, bury me with the hospital's copy of Kirby Super Star Ultra. It was the only thing I loved during the darkest part of my life. Goodbye, carry on with your lives, and don't get too upset that I'm gone.

-Jyn Gull Bells

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