Ritual of the Morons

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1. To perform this ritual, you must first start by saying "Volo ego rite repertum meae consumpsti tempora fictus id lorem. SUM INGENIO!"

2. Next, you must go outside while the moon is out and look at it for exactly 6 minutes. If you look at it any longer or shorter, say "AW ego homo viator sursum. Potero iterum experiri?", and try this again the next morning.

3. After that, go to sleep at 10:00-12:00. If you fail to fall to sleep in time, say "AW ego homo viator sursum. Potero iterum experiri?". You will then instantly fall asleep. Retry the ritual in the morning.

4. In the next morning, go to the nearest McDonalds. Ask for one of every item on the menu. If the employee refuses, walk outside and say "AW ego homo viator sursum. Potero iterum experiri?" and retry the ritual next morning. If not, once the employee serves you the food, you will be teleported to somewhere in Canada with a cat suit on for no reason whatsoever.

5. Find the nearest car and punch it at least 5 times. If the owner gets out, get in the car. If the owner does not get out, then push him out yourself.

6. Drive the car into a yellow house. If done correctly, you will wake up at McDonalds with no memory of what just happened. You will find that you have one of every food item on your plate. Eat at least three foods and then throw the food in the garbage can. Go back to your house.

7. When you get back, go to bed instantly. Once you do, you will instantly find that it is night. You will then see Jeff the Killer holding a knife to your face saying "Go to sleep." If you try, you will instantly fall asleep, and in the morning wake up with no memory of this ritual. If you do not go to sleep for ten seconds, Jeff the Killer will reveal to be Jesus in a costume. He will say "Congratulations, you have wasted your time!" and send you to sleep with no memory of what just happened. But when you wake up, you will find a notepad saying "Stop wasting your time attempting all these rituals. This is the only one that actually works."

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