SONIC.EXE GOES SUPER SAIYAN

I'm a total Sonic the Guinea Pig fan, much like everyone else (cause obviously everyone watches/plays Sonic) and I don't think I want to play glitched or hacked games anymore. The mailman arrived and put a mail in my box, as he always does day and night and day and night and day and night and when he left I shot him dead. Then I opened the disc case to see a note and a CD that said "SONIC.EXE" I knew what it was going to be, and I read the note that came along with it. The note read:

"Dear Kyle,

I know you love Sonic.exe. So I gave the game to you because Sonic.exe just hates me.

From your beloved girlfriend,

Maggie."

Holy shit. My girlfriend was in trouble. But, you know, whatever. I love sanic. I opened the game and saw the Sonic.exe title screen, and I twerked to the music. Then something odd happened. Just before the title screen cut to the character select, some weird image came up... luckily, I print screened it. I don't have tiger eyes like Tom. Only he could see instant images without screenshitting them.

The character select consisted of Shadow, Silver and Spurdo Spärde. I was surprised. I mean, for crying out loud, how can you play as Spurdo Spärde in a Sanic game for fuck sakez? I chose Shadow first. Then I heard Shao Kahn's lAuGh, which was odd, since there was supposed to be a Kefka laugh. I was in Marble Zone. The level was flat, though. No lava, no nothing. Shit, I didn't want this Creepypasta, ahem, I mean Trollpasta, to be cliched. Anyway, there was blood on the ground, and it was slippery. I suddenly saw Sonic.exe chasing after me. I wanted to play with Sonic.exe, but the game forced me to run. So I ran. Gotta go fast, I guess. Sonic.exe was slow as hell. But suddenly, he went Super Saiyan! I mean, I'm saying that because he didn't use any Chaos Emeralds. Although I should refer to it as Super Guinea Pig. He was 9000x faster, and 666x more demonic, and 777x more stronger. He caught me. Shadow cried like a 32-bit 4 year old losing his toy, then Super Sai- Super Guinea Pig Sonic.exe put duct tape on his mouth, and said "SHUT UP!" then killed Shadow. C'mon, this isn't how the game was supposed to go! And I wept for hours because fuckin' pixels on a screen got murdered!!!!!111

Next, I chose Silver. I was in Angel Hill Zone, and I was a fucking badass. There were a few rocks, which I picked up and threw, then a message popped up on the screen, saying "Kyle, I know you love me..." I was seduced. My eyez wer hlf clozed, & i mde kizzin' noisesssss then suddenly, a Super Sonic.exe image flashed on the screen with staticz, and there was a screamer. Silver got thrown into the air and killed. FML.

After that, I chose Spurdo Spärde. Now I surely had to win this! I was in a hyper-realistic MKX level, and I was battling Super Sonic.exe. A speech bubble appeared, showing the text: "Sonic ohko". I had to be careful. Then suddenly, it showed the image of stuff you didn't want to see. Spurdo pooped on Sonic, although the game did good by censoring it. I won. But, an image popped up on the screen, showing Sonic.exe, with the words written in BLOOD: "I WAZ SPURDO" and I rage quitted. I sent the game to Tom, with a note, then committed suicide. Wait, also, I won't describe the title screen cuz I'm dead.

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