SQUIDWARD
Hi there.
I'm a long time fan of SpongeBob SquarePants.
I honestly prefer the older episodes because they were from my childhood.
And I own a lot of merchandise from the show.
Yet, now, I feel that is something I should mention.
I will NEVER look at SpongeBob SquarePants the same way again after this incident that I had.
Now, let me tell you about what happened.
This happened around a month ago.
I was sitting on my sofa, watching NickToons at 1:25AM.
I saw a promo for a new never before seen SpongeBob episode coming on next.
I was so excited.
Did I mention that I live in the U.K?
Anyways.
Yeah.
Then, the episode began.
However, there was no intro.
"Probably a screen bug." I said.
Then, the Title Card appeared.
The title said SQUIDWARD and the background looked like it was drawn by a 2 year old.
The episode began, the camera moving towards Squidward's house.
Then, it cut to Squidward, opening his door.
However, he seemed more depressed than normal.
SpongeBob and Patrick were busy playing outside.
Squidward turned towards the two.
"Hello, I feel like you too are shitheads." Squidward said, calmly.
I can't believe it, Squidward said a swear word.
Then, it continued.
SpongeBob started to cry tears.
However, the tears looked like hyper-realistic blood.
Then, Squidward laughed an evil laugh.
The screen started to display images of dead and torn-up people.
I thought this was a prank, so, I shrugged it off.
It cut to Squidward, in his bedroom.
He had something wrong with his face.
His eyes were smaller and the colour of face was a almost vomit-green colour, which I didn't understand.
Squidward seemed happier.
However, the smile was smeared onto his face and I saw tears of pure agony and screams of irritated pain and his smile was just, too happy.
His smile turned into a almost anus-shaped oriphis, which didn't make sense.
Then, it just disappeared in a puff of smoke.
Leaving a brief smear of blood on where his mouth once was.
His eyes were more wider this time.
And he spoke in a way that put me off.
He spoke with a very masculine and broad tone of voice.
This is what he said:
"SpongeBob and Patrick, phew, at least those clowns aren't my friends, and wait, what was the script again?"
Then, Squidward lunged at the camera, ripping off tiny parts.
His face turned into asphalt.
And his face looked like gum underneath a old and very scuffed-looking shoe.
Then, the smile was plastered onto his face.
With a spring in his step, Squidward walked back inside.
Now, his own living looked dark.
I ignored the secret message that said "Hail Satan and not Shrek." Because, well, I didn't want to be scared.
But, I was still scared.
Then, Squidward was walking upstairs.
He walked.
Step by step.
Yes.
All the way up.
Then.
Something happened.
He fell down the stairs.
And he hit his neck on the ground so hard that his head came loose and then he smashed it into the ground, therefore, breaking his soft head.
There was a lot of totally 100% hyper-omega and hyper-realistic blood.
I was sick into a bin I had by the side of me.
Because, I always had it there, don't ask questions.
Then, the episode ended.
I turned my TV off.
I was really thinking.
And, I mean it.
I was REALLY thinking something.
I thought: "Who would make a episode like that?" and I know who, a person who was an intern at Nickeloden Studios.
Yes.
Of course!
How didn't I think that before?!
Anyways.
I never looked at SpongeBob SquarePants the same way ever again...
Written by TheBigLG
Content is available under CC BY-SA
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