SUPA SCry GTA V

So I went to Gamestop to get my super cool preorder for Grand Theft Auto(I'm writing this from the future in the past for the future) When I noticed a hyper realistic copy of GTA 5 sitting on the shelf. I bring it up to the clerk who just shrugs and says that a little boy brought it in and traded it in for Call of Duty 18.

So I get the game and the box feels rather heavy. In the car I open the box and it appears that there is no disc but a Nintendo 64 cartridge! I knew there was a 30 day return tinme so I decided to put off GTA5 for a few days and see what game this little scamper tried to scam with for money to scam.

I get to my one bedroom loft and pull out my old Nintendo 64 and start playing the game. At first the was nothing but black screen before a blood red Nintendo 64 logo showed up and then nothing. Static flickered on the screen and I got real paranoid like someone was watching me.

Suddenly the Rockstar logo appeared but it wasn't right either. It was red, like blood, and there was a hyper creeptastic drum beating in the backround. Then the static started again and I thought I could hear music playing. Then the titlescreen displayed Grand Theft Auto and below that DEMO FOR USE OF ROCKSTAR EMPLOYEES ONLY! I got real scared and thought that maybe the police might break in and catch me using this super rare cartridge! But noone did and I hit the red start button.

The Title Screen washed away into black nees and three words appeared, PLAY, LOAD, OPTIONS. I looked at Play and Load and decided just to hit play and see what this game was like.

It started from a top down perspective and I knew something was up! No Grand Theft Auto game was ever top down! I was now certain that this was some fan made work and I was skeptical that it was even made by Rockstar! I kept playing hoping that it would at least be a little fun before I took it back. I walked around and immediately tried to take a car. However when I hit the buttons all that would happen is a text box would pop up and show a tried cancer patient like face.

"Why bother, It's all too short"

He would say each time. I felt sad for the man when out of nowhere a drive-by happened and my guy was shot down. Hyper realistic blood shot every where and I gasped in horror as my guy's head exploded in 3D detail.

A text box popped up again

"Just what should happen" it said and the face next to the box was a blood red skinned man. Then it went back to the title screen. PLAY was the only option now the other two were gone. I was sure that this game was broken but curiosity propelled me to play again.

This time it was a 3D perspective like GTA 3 and I was impressed that a N64 could render the game. Everything looked almost too realistic and my character was Tommy just like in Vice City. Tommy was now fatter than every like CJ at his fattest. All he would do when moving would sigh and groan.

"I owe them money" he said in a textbox with a sad depressed face.

I kept moving around and Tommy refused to run, staying in a slow stable walk the entire time. Then creepy stuff started to happen. Body's would be hanging from lampposts and messages were scrawled in blood on the ground and walls.

"My son I am sorry for the lost time," "God why does it hurt so much?" "JESUS WHY DID YOU ABANDON ME!" "Just call my mom! Tell her I loved her Pie!"

I was really scared now and I wanted to stop playing but a morbid fascination kept me pressed to see the end of this game. I pressed onward only for a black man to run me down in the street.

"BITCH STUPID VIRGIN!" The man yelled and bashed Tommy's head in. But it wasn't Tommy, IT WAS ME! It was my head he was stomping into the ground.

"You couldn't even graduate from community college you fat fuck! All you do is play Skyrim and eat Doritos. No wonder Sarah dumped your fatass."

I began to tear up and I put down the controller. Tommy- No my body was completely broken, and yet it did not go to the title screen. A text box popped up.

"You know what you must do," read the box and where to portrait would be there was a noose. I nodded, He was right I knew what I must do. I went into my closet and found the rope that I used for camping.

I wrote a small note before I jumped out the window. Then I wrote down what happened. The note read, "Sarah Why couldn't you have stayed?" I sign off as I stand on my balcony. I hope heaven serves video games.

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