Sandwiches
My name is Corey R. Seder. I live at 2809 Ross Street in Rickinson, IL 69420. I was born on January 15th of 1979. I am 5' 7" (169 centimeters) tall and I weight 245.7 pounds (111.7 kilograms).
Ever since I was a kid, I've always enjoyed eating sandwiches. But on the summer of 1991, something happened that would change my view on sandwiches forever. I just had gotten out of school, and I was going to my local bread store to buy some bread in order to build my special sandwich. When I entered the store, I noticed that instead of the usual cashier at the counter, Joel Saulsbury, there was someone I had never seen before.
"hello may I get a fucking bread please" I said (I am cool so I swear in every sentence because I am so cool)
"Sure. Buddy. You might get a bread" The cashier replied.
I paid for my bread using 0.000001 cents. (the story is set in the 90s so the price is lower than nowadays) (smh)
Then I headed to the lettuce store, which is a few blocks away from the bread store.
I entered the building and I was terrified to find out that in the place when there should've been the usual cashier, there was the same man I had encountered in the bread shop.
"Fuck! Oh. Fucking whatever. Hello, fucker. Can I get a fucking lettuce?" I asked kindly.
The cashier slowly stretched towards me, grinning the whole time. He stared at me for about 10 seconds, before saying "okay"
I took the a lettuce and rushed home. As I ran through the streets I noticed every man was bread shop man wearing different hairstyles.
When I finally got home, I locked the door. and I maked a sandwich.
When my sandwich was about to be finished, I started hearing loud banging coming from the door.
"COREY LET ME IN"
I recognised the voice. It was bread man.
The man exploded the door with his bare hands and came in.
After brutally killing my sandwich, he said:
"I'm gonna let you go with a warning."
"Okay, what the fuck is it?"
"NEVER buy from my bread store ever again."
Credited to LegallyCringe
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