Scaryteacher.exe (free.99)

I used to be a huge Baldi's Basics fan as a kid when it first came out, and all the big youtubers were playing it. Well, I say I was a huge fan, but I never actually played it back then. Like many kids of the time, I was mostly just obsessed with watching people play it on YouTube, before I grew out of it lol. Apparently the full game came out ages ago, and I missed the drop being busy with school and all that.

Exam season just ended for me, and I decided to get back into it in the meantime. Just something to keep me from 𝒻𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓀ing out about whether I failed or not haha... Back at my dorm, I waited for my geriatric shitbox pc to warm up, so I can look up the game. I waited and waited while my computer made noises similar to when my grandad got pneumonia (rip grandad). My weed head roommate came home from his job before the computer even got to the log in screen so we started talking about fuck all. It was just when the convo started to turn towards my roommie claiming that I should try weed again and that I "haven't found the right strain" that the start-up chime blared from my stolen speaker. (If you can't tell, I'm broke). He quickly got shooed out of my side of the room so I can get to my main task of getting "back to basics" (haha). I typed " new baldi basics" into my search engine, then hit enter.

"10 DOLLARS?! That's 10 dollar's my broke ass could be eating with!"

"What the fuck are you yelling about?" My roommate asked from the other side of the room.

"This game I'm trying to play costs money. >:("

"My weedman sells pirated games on the side. He might have whatever you're looking for."

Well, that's certainly weird. Do drug dealers commonly have side hustles? Shouldn't selling illicit substances should make enough money on it's own? Or at least selling weed would be the side hustle itself right? I brushed off all those dumb questions.

I asked my roommie to call up his weed dealer and ask him if he had the game, before I even went out to try and find him. When I finally got word that he did in fact have a copy of Baldi's on sale, I was told to meet him at the local Burger King.

Skip forward, we're at the burger king, he's charging me 3 dollars for a CD-R with the words "Baldi: education and learning" written on the front with sharpie. I didn't ask too many questions, because the 70% off deal gave me all the answers, and when you're broke you take what you can get. I handed him a few crumpled dollars and took the game. The sun cast long shadows over the path back to the dorm. While I walked, I looked at the disc. It's the type that you buy blank and burn music on, packaged in one of those square envelopes with the plastic window that let's you see what would be the cd art.

Skip forward again, and I'm putting the CD into the disc drive of my pc. Nothing had to be installed. The files were plain and I could play straight from the CD. However, the files weren't conventionally named.

The main executable was labeled "scaryteacher". That is technically what the game is about, but why rename the file? A little odd, but I just bought Baldi's basics for 3 dollars off a drug dealer, a "little odd" is nothing. The title screen looked a little strange, I didn't have too much recollection to base it off of, but it just looked scuffed. More scuffed than Baldi's is intended to look anyway.

Some of the lines of floating text cut off part-way, and in other places things repeated and bled like a broken NES game. It must have corrupted in the process of ripping it onto the CD-R. If I had paid full price, I'd be pissed, but the discount made it somewhat beautiful. Artful even.

I clicked on a game mode called "Hide-and-Seek" and it launched me backwards into an elevator. Clearly, a lot has been added in since I was a kid. Seems the aim of the main game now is to grab notebooks, solve even simpler math, and haul ass to the elevator (not the exit anymore).

It's still eerie as hell though. Usually games you "play" as a kid wind up being dumb as hell. Usually, the only reason it felt like they had any bite at all is because you were nine and even dumber than.

However, as I was playing the game that evening, I was 𝒻𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓀ed tf out. I don't know how many "floors" there was supposed to be, but my game just kept going on and on. I barely caught glimpses of Baldi because I was too busy running from him. What I did catch wasn't Baldi's usual fish-lipped face, but a far more realistic depiction of straight putrefaction. Baldi looked like he was going to make me return the slab. My speakers were making ugly noises just under the buzz of the school's fluorescent lights and I couldn't tell if it was the damn game or if my pc was finally giving out on itself.

Clearly, they kicked it up in the time since I last gave a damn about this game. Maybe they got sick of the mascot baby game reputation. Maybe they're just bored. I think it's cool. Sometimes all you ever wanted is some bite, and through all the discomfort, you have fun. I had fun. That is until I got caught and the game BLASTED me in my ears. It's one thing to scare you, it's another to damage your fucking eardrums. Worst is, now my stupid roommate is awake.

A sneaker collided with the back of my head.

"SHUT UP!!! Don't you have classes in the morning?!"

I did, in fact have morning classes. I peep the clock on the computer. 2:36am. I have completely lost track of how long I've been playing for. I powered down my pc and carried my sorry ass to bed.

3:33am comes and I'm launching out of bed from a nightmare in which I'm struggling to swipe my card in the grocery store line. Baldi's ruler is cracking closer and closer towards me but I can't put eyes on where he could be. I contemplate just running but I don't want to get sent back to detention.

Skip forward again again two days later and I can barely keep thoughts in my head that aren't Baldi. I keep having the nightmares. The college hallways remind me of that damn game. In my sleep deprivation I had convinced myself that Baldi was the very embodiment of evil. That "scaryteacher" was made to torture people who played the game and drag you to hell. My roommates weed dealer? He's gonna pay for my lack of rest. I have an academic record to maintain. You know it can take four days to recover an hour of lost sleep? I can't afford the luxury of time, sleep debt on top of student debt could ruin me. I wound up meeting up with that sicko at the same burger king I bought the game in. The intention is to trade the game in for an acceptable explanation. If I don't get what I want I'll just beat his ass. This sleep deprivation should culminate into what functions as crack strength. He isn't that tall or too wide, so it shouldn't be too hard to knock some sense into him.

Skip forward again again again, and I'm in the hospital.

He shot me. That man shot me over me being rightfully angry he sold me some bullshit. That man shot me over a 3 dollar game that I didn't even want a refund for.

We wound up arguing in the booth seat and then getting kicked out into the parking lot. That's where everything escalated and the weedman decided to crash out. Now I have medical debt on top of the student debt and the sleep debt.

It's over for me.

finished 1:20 PM 1/9/2025

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Written by ichi888g888o
Content is available under CC BY-SA

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