Scott the Woz: E.T
Blatantly rips off Nostalgia Critic's Lost Review.
The other day, I was on YouTube, home of Scott the Woz and other great gaming YouTubers, if many of you aren't familiar, and I gotta say, I am a Scott fan. Every time I go on that site, I would watch a certain Scott the Woz video. In fact, I watched his Dick Vitale's Awesome Baby College Hoops video, which I love, even though it wasn't perfect. Still, it was memorable. But I found something morbid about Scott Wozniak, or if you're curious, Scott the Woz.
I was ready to type a comment on the video under my name, which I won't give away my name since it's a personal username, but anyway, I found a comment that's an unknown user, and it provided the YouTube account link, that being Scott"s Stash. It's basically the second channel of Scott, but instead of an ', it has an ". I clicked on it, out of curiosity, and it had a channel that looks like Scott the Woz, which is promising enough. And there was a review that said, Scott the Woz: E.T.—38 Years of Trash. Do you remember that game? Of course you do. But that's a different story for a different day. I saw the view count and it had zero views. I laughed as I thought to myself, "Did Scott lost his popularity with this video?" so I clicked on the video. I wish I didn't though.
We begin the video with no opening catchphrase, "Hey all, Scott here." It was actually Scott crying. He was not acting sad, he was not doing a campy sad face, he was extremely sad. As he was sad, tears were falling from his eyes. It wasn't an effect, or an act, he was really crying. And it goes on for a full minute.
He then said, "You stupid motherfuckers. You want a review of a shitty game, you got a review of a shitty game!" and he was saying it to us, the fans, looking at the camera. I was really shocked to hear Scott say that, especially uncensored. So he pulled a copy of E.T. for the Atari 2600 and we see him put it on the Atari 2600, which it takes 2 minutes. Then, the game plays, and the screen went black and then we cut to a blinking picture of a demonic puppet with no mouth, but instead, blood, and it was actually a Scott the Woz puppet, which looked so scary. Then, it goes back to the review.
"Wow," I, myself, said, "this is fucked up. How can Scott the Woz show something like this to us, the audience?" The review was actually, what I assume, him crying. It was really Scott crying, and again, he is not acting. He is really crying to tears. It's no wonder he despised this game in his own honesty, even more than Chibi-Robo Zip Lash.
Then the game was turned off with his controller, and then, a screen flashed, which I actually took a look, and screencap it, it was a picture of Scott cutting his arm open. Then, the camera points to Scott; and the camera follows him as he kills his friends. He was crying in agony and not acting, once again, he was really in hysterics, like you wanted him to go to the insane asylum. He kills them by getting a real gun, and not a prop gun, and shoots them in their heads. I was really terrified to see Scott do something like shooting people in the head. Seriously, I was shocked up to the point where I almost stopped the video.
He then grabbed a baseball bat, and it was a real baseball bat. He first went to RelaxAlax, and killed him with the baseball bat, then indiejacob, then The Completionist, then Caddicarus, then TetraBitGaming, then ConnorEatsPants, then AntDude, then Angry Video Game Nerd, and every other people on Gaming YouTube. And this scene wasn't edited; it was like an episode of COPS. And it was a mess of blood, guts, and gore. Then the camera follows him back to his house, and he used the same baseball bat to destroy every game. He didn't care which, he even destroyed the good games, like Super Mario Galaxy, or GTA San Andreas, or Smash Bros Brawl, or Breath of the Wild, or even Donkey Kong Barrel Blast. Every single one of them. It didn't matter to him which one. He yelled, "I never want to play your fucking games ever again you stupid bastards! You motherfuckers! You little pieces of shits! Hope you fucking burn in hell!" And all of this was because of how much he hated E.T. and why people wanted him to review it.
Then, Scott the Woz pulls a real gun that he used in this review, and he pointed the gun straight to his mouth. He then whispered, "Fuck the world." and he shot himself, and as the camera shows him in the ground, there was blood all over. It wasn't special effects that Scott uses, it was real blood, as the video ended. I was really scared that he would do something like this after all the success he had. I had to leave the YouTube channel, I smacked my keyboard, I flew my mouse out, and I turned the monitor off my computer, and that's when I took a long walk outside.
After my walk, I checked out the channel again, and it was suspended. Not because of copyright infringement, no, but really something else. I calmed myself down to see a real Scott the Woz episode, and yes, it was, yet again, It's Awesome Baby, and I felt better.
I cannot believe how much I was frightened and traumatized by his review of E.T. Now I know why he doesn't want to review it, and he never will.
Credited to Oofboioo
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