Scourge of the CPW

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In the shadows of a certain wiki, there lurks some foul beings.

These creatures, nay, abominations delete the hard work of honest up and coming writers with impunity. Many of the victims would likely be household names, as their excellent pieces would have won the hearts of millions across the internet.

Instead, these poor souls have had their dreams crushed and hopes dashed away. Why, you may ask? This unholy and monstrous trinity feeds on the sorrows of lost ambition, they gain strength from bereft purpose and shameful dejection.

You may wonder, who are these creatures? What are they?

The first of these eldritch creatures is often confused for a mere wraith, but in truth, he is the otherworldly incarnation of a brilliant and maniacal artist. In life, his name was Williamson Chikitikitembonosarembocherryberryroochiepipberrypembo. Ridiculed for his silly and extraneous name, he created a moniker for himself. Unfortunately, this moniker took on a life of its own.

As the line blurred between Williamson and his creation, the atrocities he committed grew. At one point, he scathingly ridiculed the proud and stately names of many well-renowned streaming services. In what was viewed as his most heinous case, he became lost to the mortal plane. He tirelessly worked on a filter between our world and the next, to ensure that no living being could speak of the wondrous saviour of literature, Bl******t ***vis.

In unceremoniously breaching the line between our world and the next, in hubris and maleficence, he gained eternal undeath. This wraith is known in The Darkest Corner™ of Discord as Billy C.

The second of the Trinity is the most enigmatic. Some say he's a grain, others say vegetable... In truth? He can hardly be digested by most of mankind.

His story dates back to the earliest settlers in North America. Along the southern corn belt, Europeans had great difficulty in farming sustainable foods. As if, by virtue of an Aztec god, the indigenous peoples gifted the settlers with corn.

Unbeknownst to the settlers, a crucial ingredient was missing from the processing of corn. It simply ran right through them, impervious to the rigorous attempts of the human digestive system. These settlers were left malnourished and confused, which has been the mysterious Corn's modus operandi ever since.

The true danger began around the mid 1800s, at the time of the Erlenmeyer flask's creation. You see, many assume that those who abstain from its appropriate name do so based on its shape. They refer to it as a "conical flask." But in truth, they are a dark and clandestine cabal, looking to honour the little known contributor, Cornelius Coniculum.

Cornelius was disgraced by his peers in the flask and beaker-making communities for attempting to bind his soul with that of an ancient and cruel god of corn, the same god that leaves you hungry and absent of satiation. The medium in which he bound their essences together? The humble Erlenmeyer flask's first prototype. Cornelius' sinister and abstract ritual left him bereft of humanity, a mere husk of a man. Some even say he is British, but no one knows for sure. The only thing that is known for certain, is that this corny abomination hasn't a kernel of sympathy for the humble Discussions contributor, nor does he spare their attempts at writing from his starchy, high GI wrath.

The final monstrosity is known by many names. 'rico, Eric of Madness... I can't think of any more, actually. So just the two. He is the father who went for milk, and never came back. The difference? He is lactose intolerant.

It is said he was once very active in the torment of the young and naive contributors of yore, but for now he lays dormant. In his absence, he plots his chance to return in some miniscule capacity, well equipped with cheap puns, and references to StarFox 64.

These fiends are the epoxy of sadism, gluing together a community of tortured souls and mediocre fiends. If you find yourself on the Creepypasta Wiki, you better watch your cornhole, or you will end up either Billy blasted, turned into creamed corn, or whatever it is that Cleric does.



Written by Tewahway
Content is available under CC BY-SA

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