Seriously, Guys!
The following comes from the diary of one Anita Cort, who currently leads a normal life with her family in a far-off town. Do not add any entries to this page!
ENTRY 1 (3-19-20XX): Oh my God, you will NOT believe what just happened! So, I was just walking down the street when, out of freakin' nowhere, a SKELETON popped out! A freakin' skeleton just, like, popped outta the gutter! Did it do anything? NO! It just stood there, singing "Spooky Scary Skeletons," by Andrew Gold. Yeah, I get it's a skeleton, but seriously! Good GOD I need some sleep...
ENTRY 2 (3-20-20XX): Something even WEIRDER happened this time! I tried going to bed last night, but all I could see was this creepy guy with a white face and NO NOSE! No, this wasn't Voldemort; I have no freakin' idea who this guy was! I drew him, if you're interested in that sort of thing. Anyway, all he ever said was "Go to sleep." I was all like, "I'm trying, but you're scaring me to death," but he never responded. I woke up with, like, several knife marks on my body! Had to go to the hospital and everything! I bet that shitface was responsible...
ENTRY 3 (3-26-20XX): Finally back from the hospital, and of course some weird shit happened. So, I was talking to this guy sitting next to me. He's all like, "Gurl, why're 'ya here?!" and I tell him "Just got stabbed repeatedly by some deranged lunatic. You?" He suddenly paused. What the hell was he gonna say? He finally talked. "My kidney was stolen." A stolen kidney!? He would certainly live without it... right? Suddenly, a nurse came in with a bag. Inside was... a kidney!? At first I couldn't tell, 'cause of some weird black goo on it, along with a bite mark. Still, the patient was like "MY KIDNEY!" and hugged it. Weird!
ENTRY 4 (3-30-20XX): Just got this old game that I played in my childhood! Well, trust me when I say it ain't what I remember it being! Two save files; one named "Ben" and a blank one. I tried the blank one, but it was really glitchy! Worse, some damned statue appeared every time I go anywhere! It kept telling me "You shouldn't have done that." Done what!? Well, I did delete the Ben save file, but I had no idea games could be so self-aware in such a cruel way! So, you know what I did? Blew the damned thing up! Hearing voices, but I'm fine.
ENTRY 5 (4-2-20XX): My brother Tim finally came back home! He's been telling us this one, specific story the whole time... 'bout some abandoned theme park in North Carolina or something, I dunno. I think he's crazy! He's all like "This costume started squirting blood everywhere! Wasn't no ordinary blood, neither! It was some yellow stuff! I could feel it... so chunky!" I'm like, "Dude! WAY too much detail!" "Gotta describe it! Disney's gonna KILL me!" We're all considering sending him away to the asylum.
ENTRY 6 (4-25-20XX): Sorry for not spending much time on this... Tim's dead, so you know. Commited suicide before we could get him into the mad house! Was it because of the spooky costume? HELL no! Some random picture of a dog drove him to kill himself! It wasn't a normal dog, but it's still kinda silly. It's a husky with a demonic grin and a bloody hand. Looks like one of those chain mails or something! "Spread the word!" Tim would say! What word!? He was crazy, I tell you!
ENTRY 7 (4-28-20XX): What is with me and strange shit happening!? Some random dude gave me a VHS and told me "DESTROY THIS TAPE FOR GOD'S SAKE!" He ran off before I could ask him anything! The nerve! Oh well, I thought, better watch this thing... I ain't gonna tell you shit! Blew the damn thing up the same way I did with the video game! All I'll say though, is... if there are more copies, destroy them at all costs! Your childhood will be ruined forever otherwise!
ENTRY 8 (5-2-20XX): This is the last freakin' straw! Found a DVD of an old show from my childhood, and guess what? It was full of f*cked up shit! There was this apple who claimed to help kids with injuries. Did he do that, though? Hell to the no! All it did was stare at the screen and MURDER CHILDREN. Did some research and, yeah, it was made by a cult. Who knew!? Didn't even worship Satan or anything! Just... really satanic shit! I swear, if one more thing happens...
ENTRY 9 (5-9-20XX): WE ARE F*CKING MOVING! I am SO giving this thing to police! Why? Because this... mystery man appeared at my doorstep! You wanna know what he said? "Do you worship Shrek as your lord and savior?" "Ogre my dead body!" I told him. I was well versed in the ways of the Shrek, you see. He gasped. "You dare use the Ogrelord's name in vain? You'll pay!" Just then, a naked Shrek appeared outta nowhere and... I don't even want to talk about it. So, there you go. Why I'm leaving this hellhole. Hopefully all this doesn't catch up to me later...
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