Shrek: Ogregins
I was only 19 years old, I loved Shrek so much, I owned all the movies and merchandise, or so I thought, so you can probably imagine my surprise when I was walking in my local park one day when I came across a blank disc that said "SHREK.EXE" in permanent marker, I picked it up and to my dismay it was highly scratched but I took it home anyway, I placed the mysterious disc on my shelf and decided to go bed as it was a school night, but not before doing my usual routine of praying to Shrek before bed, oh yeah did I mention I even prayed to Shrek every night before bed? "Shrek is love" I would say, "Shrek is life", but that night I had some unusual dreams, Shrek was in them and he was brutally killing all the rest of the cast, like Donkey and Fiona and also my family members like my mother and father, before the dream ended he turned to me and said "it's all ogre now!" I woke up around 8 o'clock to get ready for school, I didn't think anything of the dream thinking it was just a strange dream, sometimes I have those.
So I packed for school even though I'm 19, packed my lunch in my Shrek themed lunch box, ate my favourite Shrek themed cereal, put on my Shrek themed school bag and put on my uniform and green Shrek ears. When school started I was told to sit down next to my most hated rival and notorious bully, Fred Quaad, "oh great" I muttered under my breath. When I sat down Fred Quaad looked at my Shrek ears and bursted out laughing, "Shrek is drek" he said, I was furious at what he said, so I punched him and gave him a black eye, I was called into the principal's office, but I explained why I did it and he said "fair enough" and just sent me home with a warning, Fred got expelled for blasphemy.
When I got home I went into my room and decided to check out the mysterious disc, I popped it in my PC and when I did it came up as "Shrek: Ogregins", I thought this was strange as I had seen all the Shrek movies and spinoffs, but I never heard of Shrek: Ogregins, excited I pressed play, looking back, I wish I hadn't done that.....
The movie started up with the usual DreamWorks logo, but before it got to the main menu I heard a deafening screech and the screen went black for 5 minutes, I assumed this was some kind of glitch due to the disc being highly scratched, but then it went to black and white footage of the opening of Shrek 1 while a slowed down and quiet, almost sad sounding version of All-Star played, but suddenly the music stopped and Shrek looked blankly at the screen before shouting "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY SWAMP, TOM!?", I was shocked, how did the film know my name? But I shook it off as a coincidence and continued watching, the film continued as normal but then it cut out and it showed footage of a young Shrek and a voiceover of Shrek saying "so this is my ogregin story", then it showed Shrek brutally killing his parents and writing "you're next Tom" in their blood, I was weirded out but I kept watching anyway, then it turned to black and the DreamWorks logo showed up again, "fuck, is that all of it that works?" I said, but then it went to a screen of just a hyper realistic naked Shrek holding a decapitated head, my head, "what the fuck?" I said, but I brushed it off as a glitch and kept watching, the film ended with a jump scare of a bloodied Shrek popping out of nowhere, screeching "you're in for a world of urt laddie!", I went to sleep and I had some strange dreams that night, involving Shrek brutally killing everyone I know, starting with Fred Quaad, I didn't mind him killing that blasphemer, but then he started to kill everyone else too, he 420 noscoped my best friend and my cousin at the same, "DOUBLE KEEL" he shouted afterwards, then he threw an onionade at my mother, blowing her up.
"TRIPLE KEEL"
Then he pulled my father's head clean off in front of me, then he turned to me and shouted "OGRE KILLLLL!" I tried running but I couldn't escape the Ogrelord, he grabbed me and also pulled my head off, before I woke I seen a brief flash of the screen of Shrek holding my decapitated head from the fucked up movie.
For some reason the next day I felt the urge to watch the movie again, I turned it on and text popped up saying "you shouldn't have done that" and my computer shut down and wouldn't come back on, "well fuck" I said, but then I noticed on my bed there was a Shrek plushie with one of his ears torn off and covered in blood and semen, I picked it up but as I did it disappeared and the power went out, then I got a stench of onions and a large green figure bursted through the wall and pulled my head off, killing me.
I am now dead I am writing this from the afterlife as a warning not to watch any strange Shrek discs, you have been warned.
Shrek Is Love.....
Shrek Is Life.....
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