Slenderman keeps pissing on my lawn

Look, I own a house in a pretty small town. Lots of land, and even a nearby forest. But, something's really been getting on my nerves lately. I really don't want him to piss on anything in my house. This really tall dude with his dumbass suit keeps whipping out his tiny dick, and just starts letting out his piss ALL OVER MY YARD. I've boarded up my windows, locked all of the doors, especially, and I haven't left the basement ever except to use the shitter and shop for food.

I've been hearing some weird ass noises too, especially around 4:19 AM, and PM. So, I've figured out a plan. To keep him from pissing on my lawn, I'll just piss on it first.

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Credited to shmiika 

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