South Park "Bad Guy" Lost Episode

I've been a fan of South Park since 1841, and I've seen all the episodes. One day I was going to the beach and I tripped and fell. I looked under my Yeezys and saw a VHS tape that had red writing on it. The writing said "Evil south park do not watch very bad don't watch please don't." Because I'm a dumbass, I forgot about my beach trip and went back home to watch the tape. I dusted off my old VHS player and put in the tape. While I was putting the tape in, something scary happened, but that's not important so we won't talk about that part. Then the episode started off normal, except when the guy with the banjo came out to sing the theme song he had a shotgun and blew Cartman's head off. I threw up and started jacking off. At the part where Stan and Kyle sing in the bus Kyle pulled out da 9 and shot himself in the head. Stan started crying blood, but the blood was hyper-realistic. I threw up again. Cartman's singing part was not there since he was killed by the guy with the shotgun. Instead of Kenny singing his normal part, he exploded. Instead of all the people of South Park gathering together, it was a pile of dead bodies, but other than that, it was normal. Also I threw up again. So the episode started off normally but Cartman wasn't there. I expected him to walk into frame but instead it cut to his mutilated dead body. It had no legs, or arms, just a torso with Cartman's head on it. I started crying and shaking and shidding and farding because Cartman is my favorite character. Then the shot panned out and it revealed that Kenny was standing there, looking hyper-realistic. He was crying. He then said "mphmphmPMHPmhpmmpmh" which I think meant "I'm gonna take everything you love 666 Xd". In the background I could make out a noise that sounded like Randy (Stan's dad) giving a monologue about Satan. Kenny then pulled out a shotgun and said the "I'm gonna take everything you love" thing again. It then cut to Kenny flying a plane, and then a nuke dropped out of a plane. The nuke blew up South Park and killed everybody. Then Kenny became hyper-realistic and his hyper-realistic eyes fell out to reveal hyper-realistic holes and then hyper-realistic red dots appeared in his eyes and hyper-realistic blood came out of the holes. 2 years of silence passed and then Kenny said "You're next" and then he jumpscared me. I threw up one final time. Then text appeared on the screen and it said "You R next Lol". I was so scared. Then Kenny jumped out of the screen and killed me and my whole family.

So my soul actually just contacted Comedy Central and this is the message they gave me:

"some guy made that episode while he was high on crack but idk bout that weird shit u saw lol also sorry for getting you killed"

The end

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  evil ken

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  the text

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Written by BallsDeLigma
Content is available under CC BY-SA

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