Spiderman is very fucked up

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  NSFW WARNING

This page is not safe for work or school. The content of this story is not suitable for some audiences, and may be inappropriate to view in some situations.
...Or in all situations, at any time, any place, and by any audience for that matter.

One day I was reading a Spiderman comic until suddenly, 52-year-old Mary Jane, 48-year-old Gwen Stacey, and 39-year-old Black Cat were having a lesbian threesome. Then Spiderman walked in and he does his womanizer stunts. I stopped and thought, wait a minute! Spiderman is a nerd. Then, 34-year-old Spiderman jumps into my room and says. "Shit idiot time to die." He hyper realisticly beat the everliving shit out of me until Batman pops in but then Spiderman takes out his AK-47 and shoots Batman down. I run out of my house, and now I'm living in a dumpster, feeding on the chicken that people drop in my dumpster.

666 years later I started to wonder about how I should stop Spiderman from tormenting everyone in the universe. I see a copy of Spiderman web of shadows in the dumpster. I find a wii and I plug it in. But then I realized that the game wasn't the fucking wii version! It was the ps3 version! Fuck! I start eating my arm until I digest it and I say fuck it! I shove the ps3 game in the fucking wii until the wii stops fucking spewing the damn disk out!

I start the game up but, BIG MYSTAKE! Cuz spiderman comes out of the tv screen and starts eating me! Suddenly zombie batman comes out and takes a giant detonator and tries to blow the earth up! But Spiderman takes his web and chokes batman to death. Batman tries to fight it but he dies. I say! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I started my self destruct sequence until spiderman rips my heart out. But that just makes the explosion happen faster. Then the universe blew up.

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