SpongeBob Krab Lore

Mr. Krabs has a daughter named Pearl. She is a whale that he so kindly adopted. Weirdly out of character. Pearl does not know who her mother is. In one episode Mr. Krabs in a brief panic hides an old picture and it isn't really elaborated on. Played off as a quick gag. Maybe it's a naughty picture. SpongeBob has shown footage of aquatic life before implying pornography. However, I think it was something else.

When whales die they sometimes produce a phenomanomanomanomanon known as a "whale fall." Where their corpse falls to the bottom of the ocean and creates its own abundant ecosystem. Many animals such as lobsters, shrimps, squids, and octopi scavenge. They eat on the bloated corpse for months. Sometimes even years. Many even live inside of it. The most common of these creatures to do this being crabs. Look up any whale fall, crabs are always there. It is pretty much a guarantee those dumb googley eyed bitches will be feasting on dead whale. Exoskeleton dumbasses.

The Krabby patty secret formula is played off as a joke. Every time it has been "revealed" it has been fake. Such as the time it was said to be ground up planktons, but revealed Mr. Krabs only did that to give Plankton a mental breakdown (trolled). There is no canonical answer to what the secret formula is, anyone who says otherwise is incorrect. However, there are some inferences and potential clues. More so, Mr. Krabs founding the Krusty Krab with plankton and the timeline of adopting Pearl can completely co-exist. There is even a framed picture of a whale that ISN'T Pearl hung up inside Mr. Krab's house alongside a mounted harpoon.

These are some hints at potential foul play or greed driven opportunity alongside real aquatic scavenger behavior. The Krabby Patty Secret formula is portrayed as this impossible code that is never actually meant to be discovered. Some say it's like the briefcase from Pulp Fiction. It doesn't matter what's inside it. A Macguffin, or in this instance a Macrabbin. It's just the item itself existing and the actions surrounding it that matters. Such as Plankton, Mr. Squidward, Patrick, and SpongeBob's whacky antics on Krusty Krab centered episodes.

I disagree. I think there is a very real ingredient that Mr. Krabs, ruthless capitalist that he is, keeps secret for reasons other than culinary competition. A particular secret that he doesn't want his daughter pearl. The whale. To know. A secret formula that could last what seems to be a lifetime in Bikini Bottom. A secret that robbed a woman-whale of a proper grave. A daughter never knowing what happened. And it is a secret all those that enjoy their Krabby patties in bliss will never know.

And he hopes... he prays to the Capitalism gods that he never runs out of that secret formula... he doesn't want to have to use his backup... but he will.

Agagagagaggagaga spongeboy mebob, I have committed a grave sin in the name of me unquenchable avarice.

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