SpongeBob Lost Episode: SpongeBob and the Missile
Nickelodeon was one of my favorite channels when I was a kid. I grew up with shows such as Rocko's Modern Life and of course, Spongebob Squarepants. You probably know what the show was about, so yeah. I have loved the show, but as the seasons progressed, it started to appeal to modern audiences. Not really my cup of tea. The modern seasons are a little immature, but it managed to get some laughs out of me.
Last week on Friday, I was at a yard sale in my neighborhood. I was looking at old toys from the 90s, some old DVDs, et cetera. That's when I saw a DVD that simply said "SBSP". It didn't take me a genius to figure out what the letters "SBSP" meant, so I bought it. The lady at the yard sale said she had never seen the DVD before, but I could have it. I gave her 5 dollars, and went back home.
When I went home, my parents told me I had to go to band practice, so I put the disk in my sock drawer, and went outside and hopped into the car.
After band practice, I had forgotten about the DVD. It wasn't until Saturday morning that I remembered about the disc. It was 7 am and my parents were still asleep. I got the DVD, woke up my laptop and inserted the disk.
I opened up my video player. The first thing that played was the Spongebob Squarepants theme song. I plugged in my headphones and put them on. The intro was different. When the kids in the intro said "SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!", it just ended up muted and after that, turns back to normal. This happened on and on until it ended. I didn't know why that would happen. I just ignored it. The intro ended, and the title card came in. The title card simply said, "Spongebob and the Missile", a weird name for a kids whose target audience is for 7 year olds. There was no music playing during the title card like always. The episode then started.
It faded to the exterior of Spongebob's pineapple house, then cuts to the living room. Spongebob and his friend Patrick arrive inside the house and Patrick sits down on the couch. Spongebob starts making lemonade to cool off after a long day of jellyfishing at Jellyfish Fields. Soon after, there was a knock at the door. Spongebob walks to the door, and is greeted by a very angry Squidward.
Squidward: Will you stop leaving your mail in my mailbox?!?
Spongebob: I'm sorry, I didn't know my mail was in your mailbox.
Squidward: Well it's YOUR mail, so it's YOURS! I hope the ballistic missile wipes you out!
Spongebob: (looking a bit confused) What missile?
Squidward: It's been all over the news! You didn't know the missile coming down?
Just after that the news came on the TV.
Anchorman: Breaking News! A ballistic missile has been found heading towards Bikini Bottom in an hour! This is Bikini Bottom's worst days yet. However, there is an underground bunker miles away from the town. This is a realistic fish-head signing off. Good luck and godspeed.
The TV then goes to static. Spongebob then gets a call from Mr. Krabs telling him to meet at his house immediately.
The scene fades to Mr. Krabs' house. Spongebob and his pet snail Gary, Patrick, Squidward, Sandy and Mr. Krabs' daughter, Pearl were there. They both had suitcases packed. Right next to Mr. Krabs was a parked boatmobile.
Mr. Krabs: Everyone put your stuff in the trunk! Fast!
Everyone immediately did so, all while a ton of boatmobiles are seen pulling out of their driveways. Anyways, after that, they started hitting the road. Mr. Krabs started the car while his daughter Pearl sat in the passenger seat. Spongebob, Sandy and Patrick all were squeezed into the backseats. Spongebob's pet snail Gary sat on his lap. Mr. Krabs realized that there was no more space for Sandy, so they taped Squidward's legs to the roof of the boat. Mr. Krabs then thought that giving Squidward a gun would eliminate traffic, to which Sandy pointed out that would not be a great idea, but he still did it.
Mr. Krabs: If we leave Squidward on the roof of the boat with a gun, we'll have less traffic to deal with! (cackling)
Timecard for A Few Minutes Later.
This was the part that kinda disturbed me. Squidward was on a shooting rampage during this time, killing pedestrians left and right just to shave a few minutes. Patrick's been biting his nails the entire time. Mr. Krabs says they will arrive to the bunker in about ten minutes. I'm not sure if they'll even get the tape off of Squidward's legs in time.
Patrick: I'm scared, Spongebob.
Spongebob: I know, I hope we would get there in time.
Patrick: I hope you got packes some spare Coral Bites, Spongebob. I haven't even have lunch today.
Timecard for 32 minutes later.
Mr. Krabs: Alright, we're getting really close to the bunker. We'll have time to spare if we don't get distra-
Before Mr. Krabs could finish his sentence, everyone heard a faint scream and a whack. When they all checked to see what happened, Squidward FLEW off the boat, hit the tunnel wall, and died.
It was an absolute BLOODBATH. I wish I had a screenshot to show it, because Squidward was pouring blood out of every severed limb. The blood was not that hyperealistic, more cartoonish, but still unsettling to see. Everyone had no idea where the gun went, though, and by the looks of it, that's the only weapon they packed.
This is not a good sign.
After the Squidward incident, the others kept driving. Not long after, a family trying to escape pointed back, trying to signal something. Turns out, there's a boat that's driving at 120mph and is crashing into every other boat and is still going. Mr. Krabs parked into an empty gas station just in time before that boat came in and killed them all. I can't say the same for the family, though...
As soon as everyone got out of the boat, Mr. Krabs started congratulating everyone.
Mr. Krabs: Great job, team. If we were as little as a second behind, we'd all be dead. We got insanely lucky this time! If we could survive that, we could definitively survive the missile.
Mr. Krabs told Spongebob and Patrick to go get some snacks. Mr. Krabs then told Pearl that if she needs to go to the bathroom, now would be the time. And he told Sandy to help with the gas.
Timecard for 13 minutes later.
Remember when they taped Squidward to the roof of the boat? Well, turns out other people did that too, because Mr. Krabs was assassinated from a bullet to the head. After everyone else heard the gunfire, Pearl pulled the emergency brake and she, along with Sandy, Spongebob, Gary and Patrick took cover, to the best of their extent, that is. Shots were still being fired, and luckily nobody was hurt from the bullets. The windows? Not really the same story, as Partrick got cut deep in his arms and legs. Gary hid underneath his shell while Sandy found a disinfectant and Spongebob got some band-aids that will make Patrick stop crying about it.
They had to dump Mr. Krabs off the side of the road and Sandy had to take the wheel. She immediately went HAM on the gas pedal for a while. For a while, the ride was perfectly fine, until the boat ran out of gas. There were no other gas stations in the highway they were in, so everyone had two choices; Run to the bunker on foot with all of their supplies, or jack someone's boat.
What do you think they chose?
There was a couple coming out of a fast-food restaurant not far from Spongebob and the others. They were holding a fast-food takeout bag and were going to their boat. These dumb idiots placed a shotgun on the ROOF of their boat, and thanks to that, Spongebob and the gang easily offed those lovebirds. Turns out, they had a lot of supplies than Spongebob and his friends. They even had a gallon of gas in the trunk. Patrick looked in the takeout bag and saw 2 cheeseburgers, a biscut, a set of fries and a box full of chicken nuggets. There was a can full of soda and a bottle of water. Patrick, Spongebob, Sandy and Pearl all tried to split the food four ways.
There was a slight (and by slight, I mean huge) problem with the gang's car raid, though. After they filled the gas tank on their boat, other fish folk found out what they were doing, and not long after, they tried to killed them. Not for the gang's new supply haul, oh no, but for killing those 2 idiots? Were they their cousins? Well, I never got an answer to that, as they started to go after us. Sandy was punching and pushing everyone out of her way, while Pearl then slammed them in the head with a baseball bat, but then they started to beat the absolute CRAP out of Pearl! This didn't feel like the Spongebob I knew and loved. This feels like something from a disaster movie! My parents were still asleep, mind you. They usually woke up during 7:15, but this episode was at least 15 minutes long. Anyways, Spongebob had to escort Pearl back to the boat before the mob could do anymore damage to her. She could've died!
Timecard for 13 minutes later.
Spongebob, Sandy, Gary, Patrick and Pearl manage to get to the bunker. They were all handing the luggage and bags to Pearl to which she would store into the bunker. When she went back upstairs to get some more luggage, she grew a sinister smile on her face. Before everyone else could even toss her all the food and water, Pearl grabbed the door to the bunker and closed it shut. Pearl had cartoon-stylized angry eyebrows during this and wasn't hesitant to do such. That was when Spongebob snapped and started flipping out on her, constantly swearing at her, using words that obviously wouldn't get this episode even approved for little kids. I chuckled a bit, hearing Spongebob start cursing like a sailor in this kind of show. After Spongebob calmed down, Pearl started to say to Spongebob, "It's a fish eat fish world, Spongebob" before walking downstairs deeper into the bunker without saying another word.
The scene cuts to the outside of the bunker. The bomb's already gone off. I can even feel the heat on my face. Spongebob couldn't give up. He grabbed a crowbar he took out of the boatmobile's trunk.
Spongebob: Don't worry, I'm not letting us die like this.
Spongebob tried using the crowbar to bust open the door, all while the song "We'll Meet Again" starts to play in the background. I already know they're not making it out of this. Spongebob tried to open up the bunker, but to no avail. All when hope seemed lost, Sandy put her hand on Spongebob's shoulder, which caused Spongebob's attention. She looked at Spongebob looking sad, and closes her eyes and shakes her head no to Spongebob, all while her head was facing down.
Spongebob looks at Sandy, and starts to tear up. Sandy starts to cover her eyes, holding in her tears. As the mushroom cloud starts to grow and grow, Patrick and Gary go up to Spongebob, and holding his hand. Sandy does the same to Spongebob's other hand, and they were about to accept their fate. Both Sandy, Patrick and Gary close their eye, and after that, Spongebob closes his eyes, too. After that, the screen then cuts to black, while in the background is a sound of the flames of the fire and burning. The episode ends with no credits.
I lied down on my bed, trying to comprehend what the heck I just watched. My mom must've woken up, so when I heard my parent's room open, I quickly ejected the DVD from my laptop, threw the DVD in my trash can, tuned off my laptop and put it where I found it, and jumped to my bed. My mom told me to get up and that we were going to get some doughnuts. I went and got dressed and got into the car with her.
Today, I still remember that episode. I tried contacting Nickelodeon, but they never replied to my calls or emails as expected. It's unlikey I'll ever find the origin of this episode.
I advise you, if you find this episode, do not watch it. It's my word of advice to you. If you want to try to find it, don't. Just for your own good.
Originally on Geoshea's Lost Episodes Wiki
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