Spongebob: The Cryptic
SpongeBob was my favorite show as a child. But after this lost episode, I feared it. This is my log, because I think something is looking for me, so plese, listen to me.
How I found this cursed episode
One day, I was shopping at Walmart. I was looking for some yummy yum yums that tasted like cardboard. When I found them, I found a DVD next to it. It said: "DESTORY THS AT ALL COSTZ." At first, I thought it was food, but then I realized it was a DVD. So, I bought it and the cardboard yummy yum yums. On the walk home, Somebody took the dvd. I looked over at them, and they had a lighter. I asked him: "ay the fuck are you doing?" and he said : "this thong is evil! Why did you get it?" The man asked me. "I'm hungry." I responded. "Ypu are evil for havong thos! Sp, take it! I hope you die for it!" The man said, before running off and getting hit by an SUV.
The Episode that made me piss my pants and myabe shit myself
I went home, opened the bag o& yummy yum yums, and almost ate the DVD, then I remember, "wait holy shit I can watch this thing" so, I plopped it into the cassete player, and watched it.
I was a bit confused on the title: "The Criptid". But, i thought it was just a wacky idea by the creator fo the epsido. It started with Squidward playong clafinet. He the. Heard a nock on his door. Then, the ground fell, and he broke his back. The blood was hypee realistic, and it made me have an accident in my britches. He opened na noor, and he saw a nazi fish. The fish chased him to his bedroom, but because Sqidword broke his arm, he had to crawl like a bitch. He crawled on his bed, and screamed, "i'll govd you money man, i loved fishdolf hitler too." Squidward pleaded, looking for his safe containing his ak-47. He found it, but the nazi fish waa in fromt of him, and he died of a heart attack like a bitch big baby bitch. I was biting my nails, and eating my cardboa,d. The nazi took the ak-47, and headed to the chum bucket.
He kicked down the door, and held karen at gunpoint. "Don't shoot my wife, you fucko" plankteron was mad at the nazi. Then, he shot karen, and she died i think idk the hyper realistic oil was too shocking for me i legit pissed myself. Ok so then the nazi kidnapped the dummy thic planktin, and went to mr crabs house. The nazi first stabbed pearl in her sleep, and she died. Then, he went to mr krab's room and woke him up. He stuffed plankton into mr krabs's throught, making a 2 for 1 kill. Then the nazi went to freds house and brok3 his leg, I could see the bone. It gave me a boner, and i didn't know why i guess fred's corpse was just hot. Then, he went to patriks home. Patrick was taking a shit while eating the same stuff I was eating, which scared me to almost death then he stabbed patrick on the poopy scoopy. He then tossed the corpse onto the cold sand floor. Naked.
then, he went to sandys dome. He broke it, and sandy died of water in lungs. Then, at last, he went to spongeboobs house. The nazi fush slawwoed gary, and spongebob god scared. Everybody i was looking at, except the fish, was pissing themself. (I was looking in a mirror) spongebob took out a sandal, and began whacking the nazi. The dude got mad, and punched Spongebob and made him knock be out gotten.
Spongebob wokd up, and saw the nazi sharpening an ax. SpongeBob pleaded four his life. "Please! I'll give you my house, my everything! Please!" Spongebob sobbed, with hyper realistic tears. Then, the hyper realistic nazi fish had a hyper realistic aex with hyper reelastic eyes. The fish, despite spongebobs pleads, gutted the SpongeBob, before axeing him in the skull, killing him. The fish looked at the screen. The fish said: "Auf Wiedersehen SpongeBob und all seine Fans. Sie sind der Nächste, es sei denn, Sie zerstören dieses Band. Für die Nazis!" I translated it quickly, and it said: "Goodbye SpongeBob and all his fans. You're next unless you destroy this tape. For the Nazis!" I took out the tap, and hid it, shaking. Then, I heard a knock at the door.
Afterwards
I opened the door, and I saw the nazi fish! I screamed. Its eyes were hyper realistic, too. I am now hiding out in my closet. I hope the nazi fish doesn't hear me, or smells the piss from my britches. Uh oh. I heer footsteps this way. If you see the tape, destroy it. Or the fish may attack you and make you pee yourself too! Ah oh no i'm being killed ouch oof yiked zoinks owie
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