Spongebob Season 1 Full DVD 2002
In 2011, while on a business trip to Springfield, MO, I visited a thrift shop by the name of Red Racks.
I live in northern CA, where thrift stores are uncommon, so when I saw one, I knew I had to go in and buy something. I immediately headed for the kids section, hoping to find something for my 5 year old. What I found instead was one of the most intriguing items I had ever purchased up to that point. The item in question was a blank DVD-R with a case that had the words "Spongebob Season 1 Full DVD 2002" on it. I was always fond of these bootleg DVDs and VHS tapes because you never knew what was on them. One day you'd find a family's home videos, the next you'd find a TV recording of Billy Madison filled with commercials showing the most dated novelty items of the 90s. I took the DVD back to my hotel to see what was on it, thinking it would just be another blank disc for my wife to put her favorite Steely Dan or Toto songs on.
I put the DVD into my portable player, and, to my surprise, saw the words "Loading Disc" pop up in the corner. During the 30 seconds of loading, I felt that weird sense of impending doom you get when you put one of these sketchy discs in. This feeling was exacerbated by me remembering the creepy story about a weird Spongebob episode I had read a few years back on some image board. After what felt like minutes, the DVD finally loaded, showing a black screen which cut to a still image of the old Nickelodeon logo. I got that sense of impending doom again, as the logo was usually animated, not a still image. The logo appeared for an uncomfortably long amount of time, before cutting to black again. The Spongebob end credits theme played as a title card saying 'Band Geeks' appeared on screen. After about 10 seconds it cut to a video of a man in a strange bunny mask, as very loud distorted audio played in the background. He was rocking back and forth like a crazy person in a movie for a solid minute as the audio got louder and louder, before it cut to black.
I was glued to my couch, excited that I had found something interesting for once. After a few seconds of nothing, it cut to a video showing a collection of bunny masks, while a synthpop song I did not recognize played in the background. This went on for about 3-4 minutes before finally cutting to black once again, only to show a montage of random "creepy" viral videos from the era, such as "Obey The Walrus" and "I Feel Fantastic." What a disappointment. The DVD ended with a clip of a bird accompanied by audio of a man saying "We are preaching our own funeral as we go through this life. Don't forget that."
That was the only thing in the video that really stuck with me. At first I thought this was funny and cool, but as I grow older, and my kids grow older, I realize how horrible it is to put something like this in a store and pass it off as something for kids, with the goal of traumatizing a child who just wanted to watch Spongebob. It angers and disturbs me. I hope these DVDs aren't in circulation anymore.
Credited to SunlightClassic
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