Spyro 4: Death of the Dragon
I'm sure that any of you out there with a childhood would have heard of Spyro. You know, the little purple dragon from the video games that has become a product of nostalgia for anyone with an actual childhood and the unofficial icon for PlayStation. Yeah, believe it or not, Spyro was once a PlayStation exclusive. Then of course, Nintendo happened... But, that's a story for another time.
Explanations aside, let's get to the actual point.
You know how the first three Spyro games (the good ones) were made by InsOmniac until they ran out of ideas and abandoned him to be murdered by ActiVision? It's a known fact that they began to run out of ideas, especially given that they had to introduce so many new, playable characters in the third one. But you see, they never really owned the rights to Spyro. Another company did, who simply assigned them to develop it. Now what if I told you that they actually attempted to make a fourth one? Sounds insane, I know. But it did happen. I managed to get a copy of it, but I ran over said copy with my car for reasons you will soon see.
You see, I was an intern at Aperture Science. It was a normal work day there until a workbuddy of mine approached me, gave me a random disk and left.
When I got home, I looked at the disk and saw that it was a Spyro game, but not one I've played before. Given that it was for PSX, you know, the master race console that came out of a failed SNES addon so I knew it wasn't a new one. Not at all. The disk seemed in pretty good condition though, so I played it.
The game seemed normal until...
Oh God no...
It wasn't the original Spyro. It was the Skylanders Spyro.
And then a skeleton popped out as some kind of cheap jumpscare and the game cut to a scene of Skylanders Spyro devouring original Spyro's corpse.
Oh hell no...
I took the disk outside, placed it on my driveway, right behind my car, got in my car, started it, went into reverse and ran it over.
I threw out the remains of the disk and suicided.
Written by Vampire from Nazareth
Content is available under CC BY-SA
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