Squidward Eats a Chumstick

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It was a normal day in Bikini Bottom, Spongebob and Squidward were on their way to work. As usual Spongebob was annoying Squidward with a really annoying song, and when he wasn't singing, he was bothering Squidward with how much he loved work at the Krusty Krab, and how much he thought Squidward loved his job, which was cashier.

When the two got there they saw that they had gotten there before Mr. Krabs, their boss, who was the one who had the keys to the restaurant. Five minutes later Mr. Krabs walked up to the restaurant. After he scolded the two he unlocked the door and the three walked inside. They got to their posts and sat there, and sat there, and sat there, twenty minutes later it STILL wasn't time to open up the Krusty Krab, "Me word! Did we really get there that early?!" Mr. Krabs complained.

"I know! I know! I know!" Spongebob proclaimed, "We can have a game of truth or dare!" That's what caught Mr. Krabs attention, Squidward just had that "whatever" look on his face. "That's a perfect idea me boyo! We used to play truth or dare back when I rode the seven seas with my navy mates, helped pass the time on slow, boring days!" Mr. Krabs announced excitedly. The three sat in a circle in the middle of the dining room and began playing, Mr. Krabs went first, "Squidward, truth or dare?" Without thinking, Squidward answered,"Dare. Wait oop!" Too late, his dare was sealed,"I dare you to..." Mr. Krab's voice trailed of as he tried to think of a really good dare,"Oh! I know! Squidward, I dare you to go to the Chum Bucket, order a Chumstick, and eat it whole. Then, I want you to come back, and tell us every excruciating detail." Spongebob and Squidward looked shocked and speechless, "But Mr. Krabs! Wouldn't that be selling out to Plankton?!"

Squidward was shocked for an entirely different reason, "Forget that! I can't eat that shlop! It could be poisonous! I could die from ingesting that!" Mr. Krabs looked expressionlessly at Squidward, "Okay then, here are the job applications I found on the newspaper this morning, happy job hunting!" Squidward caved into Mr. Krab's threat, "Fine, I'll go!" Squidward stormed out of the eatery.

He entered the Chum Bucket and grumbled, "One Chumstick please," almost to the point where Plankton couldn't hear him. Squidward took a seat in a chair at the middle table and waited for his food. Ten minutes later, Karen, Plankton's computer wife, strolled into the room with a platter in one hand, Plankton in the other. She set the two down and then she left the room,"Well, bon' appetite!" Plankton said as he waited for Squidward to consume his food product, if you could call it that. Squidward gulped, and devoured the disgusting substance in seconds, It was the most vile thing he had ever tasted in his entire life.

He got up and was about to run out of the Chum Bucket gagging for a Krabby Patty, when he suddenly started feeling drowsy. He had to sit down for a second, everything began to get blurry, " What did you put in this Plankton?" Squidward asked tiredly, "Oh, nothing, but there was one new ingredient, SLEEPING PILLS!!!!" Squidward looked shocked, but he was too tired to fight back. Soon enough he was sleeping.

When Squidward woke up he found himself strapped down on a gurney in Plankton's laboratory. As he observed his surroundings, he saw a table to his right, surgery tools lay down on them. Squidward was starting to get scared."W-where a-a-are y-you P-Plankton?" Squiward called in a trembling voice. As if Plankton actually heard Squidward, he jumped on to the gurney, "Oh hello Squidward. Ready for the dissection?" Plankton asked with an evil smie, "What do you mean dissection!" Squidward shouted, he was REALLY starting to get scared now. "I mean I'm going to mutilate and dissect you, conduct an experiment on your body parts, and then I'm going to serve you saying you're squidless calimari. Then I'm going to find more fish and do the exact same fish, then, when there isn't anyone in Bikini Bottom left, I'll use all the money I made and create a nice sea dome home on Malibu Beach!"

Squidward was shocked at how cruel and vicious Plankton's plan was, "Did I mention that I had a mental breakdown last night and have gone insane?" Plankton asked Squidward, "Wait, I just realized something. You'll never be able to dissect me! Those tools are way too big for you to handle! You'll probably get frustrated and let me go home a free man!" Squidward reassured himself. "Oh-con-trer my friend, introducing, Mecha Plankton!" a metallic suit  that looked like Plankton and was no bigger than Squidward rose from the ground. "I'm going to pilot this so I can conduct my experiment!" All confidence drained from Squidward's body, he was just scared now.

"Let's begin, shall we?" Plankton asked as he reached for a  small incision blade. He then rammed it into Squidward's body full force, "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Squidward cried out in agony at the top of his lungs. Plankton just laughed in satisfaction at the fact that Squidward was feeling sheer pain. Plankton then harshly pulled the incision down Squidward's stomach, happily listening to the cries of Squidward. Squidward blacked out. He awoke seconds later to the feeling of an adrenaline needle piercing his skin, "Oh good, you're awake, and while I would love to see the look on your in-pain face for this next part, I also want to keep you from fainting and for me to see you just scared for this part." With that, Plankton put a Novocain needle in him and suddenly, Squidward couldn't feel a thing.

Actually, I'm too lazy to finish this story. I'll just leave it as is.



Credited to Regularshowman
Originally uploaded on February 17, 2013

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