Squidward Turns Sinister

I was browsing Goodwill when I came across a bloody VHS tape which said "DO NOT WATCH" written in bold sharpie. It was only nine-hundred-thirty dollars, so I beat up an old lady and stole her purse, then I used her money to buy the VHS tape. When I put it on the counter, the cashier looked scared. "God save your soul," he said in a shaky voice. I stuck up both my middle fingers at him and left the store with the tape. When I got home, I was so eager to watch the tape that I ignored the stranger rummaging through my fridge, and I put the VHS tape in the DVD player. The episode was titled "Squidward Turns Sinister" with a picture of Squidward holding a bloody knife and a severed head. I thought it was kind of odd, but I continued watching. The episode started with Spongebob working at the Krusty Krab, and he gave a guy a krabby patty. "Another day, another nickel," Spongebob said, laughing his head off. This is when I noticed a twisted smile on Squidward's face, and I screamed. Squidward told Spongebob that he wanted to tell Spongebob a Krusty Krab secret in the kitchen. Spongebob looked excited. When Spongebob walked in, Squidward grabbed him by the mouth and dunked his head in the grease fryer. Squidward was laughing like a serial killer. I was shocked. When Squidward pulled Spongebob's head out of the fryer, it was a crisp. Squidward broke it off like a twig and turned to the camera. "Hail Satan," he said in a scary voice, and hyper-realistic blood was dripping from his eyes. I was so terrified that I took the DVD out and ran to the sink. I rinsed it under some warm water for about forty minutes then threw it on the carpet. It wasn't broken. That was when I realized it was invincible, so I put it back in the DVD player and had no choice but to continue watching. It started with Squidward in his house with a not nice smile on his face, then the TV cut to static for about sixty-two minutes. When it started back, it showed Squidward going to Patrick's rock with brass knuckles. Squidward knocked on the rock, and Patrick answered. I watched in absolute horror as Squidward knocked his teeth out. Patrick was dead, and Squidward ate his intestines. I puked all over the floor. He then went to Mrs. Puff's house with a brown sack. He knocked on Mrs. Puff's door, and when she answered, Squidward put her lights out. He stuffed her in the sack and slammed it against a brick wall sixty-nine times while you could hear Mrs. Puff's bones shattering. After that, he spun the sack around and chucked it into a lava pit. I watched in horror as the bag turned to dust, and there was hyper-realistic blood everywhere. Squidward went to Mr. Krabs's house with a machine gun and knocked on his door. When Mr. Krabs answered, Squidward pointed the gun at Pearl and said, "Give me a raise or I'll shoot." Mr. Krabs said no, and Squidward blasted Pearl's head off, and blood and brain batter went everywhere. Mr. Krabs tried to run, but Squidward tripped him and ripped his heart out with blood everywhere. I immediately ran to my daughter's room and puked all over the bed then came back. I saw Squidward holding Mr. Krabs's heart. He took a bite out of it, and real blood squirted. Squidward went to the Chum Bucket and grabbed plankton then ate him. Then, Squidward drew a pentagram on the ground with candles all around it, and the devil rose from the flames. He said, "Good job, Squidward." Squidward laughed in a not hilarious way and turned to the camera. "You're next," he said, then the episode ended. After it was over, I was shaking in fear from what I just saw. I called 9-1-1, and I told the investigators what I saw. They told me that the episode was created by a mentally ill animator at Nickelodeon studios who had schizophrenia. I haven't been able to sleep for nights and nights after watching this episode, and Squidward still haunts my dreams, and he's scary. If you ever see a VHS tape titled "Squidward Turns Sinister", do not watch it, or you will have to undergo therapy like me.

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