Star Trek: TNG "Picard's Last Birthday"

Hey guys, so I don't know if this is the right place to post this but... I feel really freaked out.  So I don't know if anyone has ever heard of the TV show "Star Trek: The Next Generation" but it's basically a sequel to the original Star Trek.

I love The Next Generation.  I watch it all the time.  That's why I was so excited to find a copy of the fabled episode "Picard's Last Birthday."  Basically, it is a lost episode of the show.  Not much information can be found out about it online, but apparently it was supposed to appear after "A Fistful of Datas", but was replaced at the last minute by "The Quality of Life."

No one knows why it was scrapped, and little information is available on it.  The only reason anyone knows it exists is because of an interview that was done with some of the cast.  Someone, I can't remember who, mentioned it when asked what the worst episode they had filmed was.

The big Star Trek fan I was, I just had to find it.  So I did a bit of searching and found it on Ebay for the price of 6 dollars and 66 cents.  I gotta admit, it was weird finding it for that low of a price.  There was a single picture listed.  It was an image from the episode.  I can't really accurately describe what I felt looking at it.  I mean, it was just Picard talking to Data in Engineering, but something about it just creeped me out.

It was like it was cursed.

But I bought it.  And today, it finally arrived in the mail.  I took it out.  It was a simple VHS tape with "Picard's Last Birthday" written on it, but there was something odd about it.  That oppressive aura I mentioned earlier.  I did my best to ignore it, and put the tape into the player.  It started right in the action.  Picard was running around the ship, frantically trying to combat an alien menace known as the Borg.

Many episodes have used the Borg, but they seemed... different in this episode.  Scarier... like they could really destroy the Enterprise.  Seven of Nine was also there... which, as you know, is weird because she doesn't appear until the next series, Voyager.  I was confused, but I kept watching.

Just then, the Borg decided to flee.  That's strange, because the Borg usually don't flee because of their overconfidence.  Soon, the reason for the Borg's sudden flight becomes clear.  Picard has become so angry that he has become Super Saiyan 4.  Soon after panning to a shot of Picard punching Borg drones, the tape stops.

At this point, I was super freaked.  I didn't have time to ponder this, however, as Batman burst through my front door.  He looked like he had eaten a few too many brownies, and was hallucinating.  I quickly dodged his punches, but I didn't expect a skeleton to pop out of the box that the VHS tape shipped in.

The skeleton started dancing wildly and slapped Batman with so much force that he flew into space.  The peacefulness didn't last long, however, as the skeleton began to descend upon me.

Just then, I was saved by Super Saiyan 4 Picard.  He bust in through the window behind the skeleton and destroyed it with one punch.  The peacefulness didn't last long, however, as Super Saiyan 4 Picard began to descend upon me.

He cannibalized me.

Comments • 0

Loading comments...