Star Wars Episode VI VI VI: Kylo Ren's Reveal
I'm sure you know what a Star Wars is. It's a movie owned by Lucasfilm and now by Disney. They are 3 films called "A New Hope", "Empire Strikes Back", and "Return of the Jedi". Then a prequel trilogy was planned. Obviously there are so much nope when talking about the movie! Watch RedLetterMedia if you are scared to watch them. The were "The not so much info Menace", "Attack of the disappointing clones", and "PG-13 Madness". And now a new movie was made called "The Force Awakens". I haven't seen it, but I did work for Disney, I work for movies like Frozen, Wreck-It Ralph, and Suicide Mouse. (YES IT'S REAL PLEASE DON'T CALL THE COPS ON ME LOSZERES!)
Anyway, I was hired to work in on the new Star Wars Movie! OMG STAR WARS! I saw a room full of action figures. I tossed the Jar Jar figurine in the trash can, because it was so offensive. I saw a VHS tape for a movie called Episode VI VI VI: Kylo Ren's Reveal. HOLY CRAP! I GET TO KNOW WHO THE BALLS WAS KYLO REN! I took the VHS and was greeted with 2 guards. I saw a health bar appear above me. I resembled the one for Godzilla: Monsters of Monsters on NES. You can see my try to defeat them in this screenshott: File:Me VS Guards.png
I've managed to get rid most of the bottom health, when a glitch happened. I didn't know real-life could cause glitches, but it did. The world created Not-Guards. Not-Guards were less stronger than the real guards but they were strange beings. They at one point try shoot me which took a lot damage. The right one in this picture tries to shoot at his brother: File:Me VS Not-Guards.png
The bosses were defeated and I could see the room again. I laughed like an idiot a bit and went to my boss to tell him if I could have break. He said I could have a break just for 1 day. So I got exictied and ran to my car. I drove home and decided to put the VHS on my shelf.
Now Before you read this, I shall warn you that this story is not for anyone under 50 years old. So if you have children, teens, and Under 50 Adults, you may want to punch them. Anyway, the tape was the most horrifying thing I have ever saw! After I watched it, it started to have a negative feeling in my life. My family has died in a Airplane crash, my girlfriend broke up with me, I had no cousins or brothers and/or sisters, my pets died, game over for me. I still have some positive lives but those were rare. Now that I read the totally not so depressing edgy story, lets go on!
I went in my room to see a note saying "We have toke a vacation to see the new Star Wars Movie. If you are hungry, we have food to cook. Just follow the instructions. We also have soda and water. If you need to call us: xxx-xxx-xxx. If anything bad happens call the police: xxx-xxx-xxx. signed Mom and Dad. P.S We love you! P.P.S We don't have any movies because we took them on the plane to watch. You can buy some." I felt a rumble in my tummy. At first I thought I would explode but I remembered the note. I went to the fridge and cooked up some spaghetti with sauce and cheese, drank soda, and eat some beans. Suddenly another rumble happened. I got scared thinking I didn't eat too much, but a loud "ppppppst" sound came out of my butthole. I thought it was a glitch so I ignored it. I must warn you, that you need stop reading now! It's going to make you change the way you like the Star Wars Original Trilogy. Even if you hate the prequels you won't feel the same way. LEGOs, I see nothing but skeletons made of LEGO bones. I could have known the film started with this crawl:
The rebels have defeated the evil empire and have blown up the Death Star II once again. Everything was peaceful for the rebels, until something happened..."
I felt dread while reading it. The Star Wars song started to glitch up and play in reverse. I heard deep yipping sounds too. I thought the VHS was old, but Lucas isn't that cheap! He's awesome! Everything is Awesome! Everything is cool when- oh wait wrong movie!
It started off on the planet of Naboo. I saw a dead Naboo Guard lying in a pool of strange blood. I say strange because it was hyper-realistic looking unlike the blood I usually see in both media and real-life. I also seen various videos of houses being on fire and ungodly screaming. Then it went to the castle.
I was shocked because Padme' died in Episode III. How did she survive? The crawl also took place after so this made no sense. Padme' starred at the glass for 1.77456890 seconds. I rumbled while staring and another explosion came out of my behind. I had a hole in my pants now! I went in and got a red gummy bear and eat it. I also cooked up some coffee. She was still on the screen until it cut to the planet of Endor. "..." I felt speechless, this makes no sense. I saw Luke reading a newspaper which made 0 sense. There were no newspapers in the Star Wars Luke read a section about a ticking A bomb. Again, no A bombs in Star Wars! Luke looked at Leia who was cleaning her helmet. Luke said "It's Chewie's birthday! We need to give him presents." Leia put her helmet on and said "I didn't know brown pillows had birthdays." I laughed and felt normal. This was Star Wars! It started with a montage of Luke and Leia in a shop. A SHOP IN ENDOR?! G.G They bought a lot stuff that usually exists on Earth. Then they put up a banner saying "Happy Birthday, Chewbacca!" Chewie walked in the door and got exictied, making a roar. Suddenly Leia exploded. Cartoony blod splattered everywhere. Leia's head was the only thing left.
I was shocked that Luke and Chewie had no reaction. They even acted like it was nothing. Chewie then sank to the bottom for some reason. I thought it was a gli-
- Angry YouTuber: OHHH BOOOO WHOOOO!!!!! YOU KEEP DOING THE CLICHE!!!!!
- Me: SHUT UP- Disables Comments (Don't care about constructive criticism, just want to develop an ego)
I hope you liked this pasta, join my YouTube channel and sub! You can also go to my website and suggest ideas for the next movie to review. Shout out goes to "9000tinepe" for saying, "I love your reviews they r so funny!"
Another goes to "666aristi" for saying "DUDEDE YOU NEEDE TO CONTINUTE YOU CREEPYPASTA!!!!" Oh yeah I forgot.
Suddenly a laser landed on Endor and an EXPLOSION HAPPEND! THE WORLD BEGAN TO BREAK APART AS POOLS OF LAVA WERE FORMING! POOR EWOKS DIE-oh wait they were ewoks. I thought there were people at first. And fire was on the tries. The sky melted revealing stars in the sky. And the space sky melted into a rainbowish acid trip sky. Luke was the only one surviving. It was slient until Luke said with an old man voice, "I am a Jedi." Luke forced his head to rip off. Revealing CGI guts. I cried because it felt like the special editions. Luke's head landed on a Vader mask. Luke's head was still alive.
I then heard a demonic voice. "If you bring the VHS back, He'll come." I vomited my foods out and canceled the Papa John order. This movie isn't the Star Wars I came to love. I know Star Wars could have Dark Moments, but this was depressing. It felt like a Star Wars prequel. I drove back to Disney and put the VHS back and saw the same 2 guards. I sworn I killed them... I felt relief at first. I looked at the computer and saw Kylo Ren. It wasn't him battling and talking to someone... He was just starring at me. I ignored it and asked my boss if I could take a break again. He said the same words earlier. I went outside and it was morning. I thought it was a glitch. I drove home and the note in the same spot my parents put it. I sworn I put it in the Kitchen. And I felt like someone put a VHS in my pocket... I turned around and saw Kylo Ren coming up with a lightsaber turned off. He put his saber near my neck and said in a quiet voice "You do not know who I am". I replied with a hazy voice "Kylo Ren?" To my surprise he said "No, messa me!". He Ripped his mask off to reveal a gungan's head. I tried to ignore he was here, but Jar Jar spoke in a demonic voice "Messa must help Ani, Messa must kill Ani bad guy". I punched him in the chest and he was stunned for a minute. I ran to my room and took a rest.
I woke up and saw all the creepypasta villains out there! Squidward was drinking water, Sonic.EXE was playing with my LEGOS, and Red was on the computer and was reading the Godzilla Creepypasta. They all looked at me and started singing... [A Song https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EUEj0RuUbmk]
"If you'll be kind to others, they'll be kind be to you. Just give a little cheering up and see what love can do. If you don't steal stuff, they won't steal stuff from you! Just follow the rules and you can do what is right for you. One day when I was playing, my little sister came! I really didn't want with her, and I called an idiot. Then Mommy had to spank me and had little chat. I knew that I was a naughty kid, and I really needed that! She said "If you'll be kind to others, they'll be kind be to you. Just give a little cheering up and see what love can do. If you don't steal stuff, just like little Roy, then they forgive you and they will be kind to you!" So later in my garden, my little sister came! I gave her my toy and gave a hug and played a happy game! I'm so glad that we're friends again and I'm happy as can be. And now that I'm nice to her, she is nice to me! If you'll be kind to others, they'll be kind be to you. Just give a little cheering up and see what love can do. If you don't steal stuff, they won't steal stuff from you! Just follow the rules and you can do what is right for you. Just don't be a little bully and try to be playfuuuuuuuuuul!"
I ran out of the house terrified! How did they know my name?! I thought it was just dumb luck. I then saw Happy Appy eating apple just like him, he said "You need to help kids if they are hurt". I even saw MissingNo and Suicide Mouse.AVI playing soccer. They looked at me and ripped their costumes off. It turned out that they were secret agents. They noticed me stealing the VHS tape.
We talked on the porch about it. I apologized and they accepted it. They then told me about how they made the scenes possible. They shown government technology about certain things. They told me how they added the .EXE Plushie appear in Tom's Rooms. Tom wasn't nice Kyle. He didn't destroy the disc... Now thinking about it, it all made sense! Have you ever noticed in almost all creepypastas they all had something to with being nice? I heard a noise in there. Sonic.EXE and Red were fighting:
- Red: You little worm...
- Sonic.EXE: You kidding?! You are a little worm!
- Red: I'm bigger...
- Red turned into his final form*
- Sonic.EXE: I can lung at my victims.
- Red: Shut up!
- Sonic.EXE: No you-
I didn't stay long to listen to the conversation. I came in and said, "You guys need to stop pretending to be creepypasta characters". They ripped their costumes off, but they were still fighting. It was fight on Sonic.EXE vs NES Godzilla. (Which pasta was better).
I came in and saw Pinkamena eat a cupcake from the fridge, just like she does in the MLP Brony videos. She looked at the window and saw something. "Who the heck is that creature?" The characters looked at the window. It was a gungan...
Jar Jar broke open the door and killed all the characters. Pinkamena threw a bloody cupcake him, but he used his tongue to eat it! He even ate most of the characters. Then came the songs from every single creepypasta I liked. It was from the radio. Jar Jar punched it several times until the music turned into madness. Then he picked me up by the collar and said "Messa love you! There a no Stars, no planets. Nothing exists but much white mass. You are a lie. A lie that everyone thinks is true. The people also don't exist. Messa Merry Christmas!"
There were gungans at the tables now. Gungans in the rooms. Gungans on the roof, gungans in the bath tube. Gungans in boxes, gungans riding cars. A gungan wrote this. And by the time you read this there will be a gungan on every park. Gungans using phones, gungans watching TV, stars in our hearts and the world will be covered in gungan droppings.
YOU ARE NEXT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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