Super Mario 64: L Is Real...?

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There's a random little easter egg in Super Mario 64 that people have noticed. In the courtyard of Peach's Castle, the area that the Boos gather, there is a statue with some random scribbles that have been rumored to read "L is Real 2401." What some people don't know is that the same text can be seen in Dodongos Cavern in Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, but that's beside the point. There's never been conclusive evidence to what it's supposed to mean. But I intend to find it.

I bought a cartridge of Super Mario 64 from a friend of mine recently, as he was trying to get money for the new systems and was selling his older systems to do so. I delightfully accepted the purchase, since Mario is waaaay better than any of those crappy FPS games that are all the rage nowadays. I already owned a Nintendo 64, so I was in business to play this bad boy once I got home.

I flew into the driveway and connected the cords for the game system nearly within the same instant during my excitement to play the game. I was ready to relive the glory days, ready to play this game into the ground once more. Which I did in about 9 hours of straight gameplay, all 120 of the stars.

As I was going back to Big Boo's Haunt to kick the crap out of Big Boo again, the statue in the fountain caught my eye. The fabled Luigi reference in Super Mario 64 and in Ocarina of Time. No one really knew what it was for, but I intended to find out. (I even said that at the beginning!)

I walked up to the statue, and pressed A to punch it. Instead of punching or kicking, Mario moved in front of it, like he would if reading a sign, and lo and behold, a text box came up. "L is real 2401" it read. The rumor, it seemed, was true. But what it meant was still lost upon me. I pressed A again, and the text box now read "Use the cannon." What cannon? There are literally dozens of them in the game. But the only way to find out which cannon was to use them all.

After using every other cannon in the game, I finally went to the one in the front of the castle. I blasted up into the mural of Peach, and when I collided with the jewel on the crown...I warped back to the courtyard. That's literally the most pointless warp in the game, I though. But the flight path took Mario directly into the statue, breaking it into nothingness. The secret twinkle played, and there was a stairway where the statue was. Curious, I descended into the darkness it led to.

The area was pitch black, and long. I tried to look behind Mario, but the camera wouldn't swivel like it should. I tried to go back, but the corridor wouldn't let me escape. Slightly unnerved, I kept going on. After several minutes of progressing down this corridor, I finally saw a door in the distance. It was a rusted version of the metal doors found in the game normally, and covered in what looked like blood. Cautiously, I inched Mario towards the door. He opened it...


Shady's Note: This was inspired by how I thought a recent pasta on CPW was going to end. And because it didn't I had to make this.

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