Super Mario 64 Sent me to HELL
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NSFW WARNING
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One day, I was jerking off. I came. Then my phone rang. I grabbed it with the hand that wasn't covered in my jizz. "hello", I asked. "I'm gonna throw something through your window", said a mysterious voice. They hung up. Then my window broke. By the shards of glass, I found a N64 cartridge. I got a napkin and rubbed the jizz off my hands. I took a picture of the cartridge. I put the game in my N64. The first time I put it in, the song "Tie your mother down" played. Rock is the root of all evil and I knew I would get grounded if my mom heard me play it so I took the game out. I gave the game a blowjob. Then I put it back in my N64. This time a title screen appeared. It was very spooky. The Mario logo had blood on it. So did the Mario head. Mario also had HYPER-REALISTIC eyes. The background was hell. Literally. The music was "Highway to Hell". I took a screenshot of it I pressed start. I was placed in a black room. I thought I was trapped, but I found a wall that I could walk through. There was a red door. I walked inside. The star select screen appeared. There were two stars. "heaven" and "hell". I tried to start "heaven". It said "You do not deserve to go there". Then it sent me to "hell". I was in a room with fire and stuff. Then I walked through a door. Then I saw that I was on a floating red island. "where am I", asked Mario. Then, the scariest devil I had ever seen appeared. He said "You are in hell Mario". Then the devil turned his head to the camera. "And you will be too Tonald". How the hell did the game know my name. Then my N64 set everything in my room on fire. Then I passed out. I woke up and I was in hell. Surprisingly, hell has great wifi. Sure, it's a little hot down there. But it isn't so bad. They even have a Burger King down here. So think twice before going to heaven.
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