Super Mario Smell My Finger
Super Mario is kinda mid. First of all, why he still fat after running a marathon across a country since 1985? Mario lowkey a simp doing that for a kiss on a cheek. If you want that then just use Grindr smh. So when I heard about a Mario game without said issues I screamed without the s. I love overweight people. A few days later an ad for the game was on my TV. It started with the red fatty, Rosalina, and a mentally challenged kid wearing a bicycle helmet on a red couch. "Super Mario Smell My Finger? What kind of game is that?" Rosalina asked. "I have no idea. They said some kid called in with a $1,000 and gave him-" Mario paused. "It was me daddy" the bicycle helmet kid said. "I gave $1,000." "You spent your $1,000 on-" "Yep". Mario was speechless. "Daddy guess what?" "What?" "There's a level, the last level, you gotta stick a finger in your butt and get someone to smell it".
It then cut to them playing the game. Mario was running across a generic grassland. The kid told Mario to press the "Smell Button" when a nose appeared. That was shit. I immediately preordered it. When it arrived I was at work and got a notification on my phone about it. I got out of my boss's bed and kissed him goodbye. I saw a package at my door. I took it inside and opened it up. I put the game into my Switch. It started with a title screen that said "Super Mario Smell My Finger" in a dark red color. Could this be... blooooooooood? No it's just a color. Tumblr taught me that it's actually in fact basic color theory.
The first level consisted of what I saw in the ad. When a nose appeared, I pressed the Smell Button. Mario said "smell my finger!" and the nose did. It then disappeared. The level ended a few seconds after. The rest of the levels were exactly what you'd expect from a Mario game. All of the generic worlds the newer installments in the franchise are infamous for were present. But once I made it to the last level, that's when shit went down. The final level began at a crossroad. I had to choose one of two paths. The left one had a floating Kayne West head. The other had Freddy Fazbear. Of fucking course I chose Febby Fatbear my beloved. It then cut to Mario running in a straight narrow path in Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. A Freddy head with a massive black nose appeared. The game's final boss was this. I pressed the Smell Button but it didn't work.
I was confused. The button always worked prior to this. I then remembered what the mentally challenged kid in the ad said. I pressed the Ass Button which made CupcakKe say "Ass!" as Mario stuck his finger up his ass. The Smell Button glowed a light brown color on my controller. Mario forced Freddy to smell his finger. Freddy screamed as his mask flew off of his face. The camera slowly faded in to reveal that Freddy was actually... Kayne West.
"You finally figured it out my doppelgänger Toy Freddy?" Kayne said. Oh yeah I was actually Toy Freddy this entire time. "I even had the suit on in my first album cover. Nobody noticed. But now that you know I have to kill you." Before the rogue rapper could kill me Markiplier stepped in. "Toy Freddy is love Toy Freddy is life" he said. "Markiplier? Why don't you rap battle for his life?" Kayne replied. We then went to the stage at Freddy's. Kayne began to spit bars. "I'm Kayne West and I'm a cool person. That's Markiplier he's a big virgin. I got the drip I got the swag. He got no girls all he do is play Fnaf". Markiplier then clapped back. "Hey my name is Markiplier. I keep it cool like an air dryer. I run this YouTube game with my feet. At least I don't lose my wife to a guy named Pete". Kayne was pissed. "I hate you so much why did you mention my wife? Now I really have to kill you". Kayne jumpscared Markiplier.
He slowly walked towards me. "Now you will spend more than Five Nights At Hell!" I quickly pressed the Ass Button then Smell. This stunned him for a few seconds. I ran out of the pizzeria. "God fucking Damnit how did you know that I cannot leave Freddy's as Freddy?" Kayne was then forced to spend the rest of his career in Fnaf.
Written by PeridotAmethyst
Content is available under CC BY-SA
| Comments • 0 |
Loading comments...
|
