Super Psycho Bros.

One night I was talking to my friends on Discord in a group call and we were talking about Mario ROM hacks. We talked for about 45 minutes until everybody except me decided to go to bed. Right when everyone left, a person that I did not invite joined the call. "Mario ROM hacks, huh?" he asked "Uhh yeah." I answered "If you want I will dm you an amazing Mario ROM hack that I made all by myself!" he said "How the fuck did you join the group call! I didn't invite you bitch!" I yelled "Oh, I'm sorry. I'll dm the game to you anyway." he said. "Fuck no." I responded. After that him and I left the call. All of a sudden I got a notification. That little bastard sent me the ROM even though I told him not to. It was a .nes file Out of morbid curiousity, I downloaded the file.

It was called "psycho.nes" I was excited because it might be horror themed and I love horror. I opened my emulator to play the game. The title screen was the same as the 1985 Super Mario Bros title screen but instead of "Super Mario Bros." it said "Super Psycho Bros." and Mario was holding an AK-74. That made me feel pretty uneasy but I decided to play the game anyway. I spawned in world 1-1 as usual but none of of the question mark blocks would give me anything, not even coins. When I got to the stairs that you climb to get to the flagpole, Luigi was standing at the top. Out of nowhere Mario started to walk on his own. I tried to move him but it was no use. When Mario got to the top of the stairs he pulled out a Desert Eagle and grabbed him by the neck. I didn't like where this was going so I tried to close the emulator but it wouldn't close. I had no choice but to witness whatever Mario was about to do. "Brother! Don't do this! I don't want to die!" Luigi said in perfect sound quality that should not have been possible for the NES. "Shut the fuck up!" Mario said. After he said that he shoved the pistol in Luigi's mouth and pulled the trigger. Luigi's head exploded with hyper-realistic blood that spewed everywhere.

I threw up in my mouth a little bit because of that. I tried to close the emulator again but once again nothing happened. Mario jumped down the flagpole without any music. World 1-2 was next. The thing that was off about it is that there were no obsticals, just a flat underground surface. after walking for about ten seconds Mario started to walk on his own again. He walked until he found a line of Toads. He pulled out the same AK-74 that he was holding in the title screen, I was totally petrified at this point, I wanted this to end but I knew it wouldn't end anytime soon. He started to massacre every single Toad with a realistic "gratatatatatatatatata" gun sound and the Toads were screaming hyper-realisticly and every time a Toad was shot hyper-realistic blood would pour out of their bodys. After Mario had killed every last Toad, he went up a pipe to the flagpole and finished the level.

The next level was World 1-3. Mario walked on his own right from the begining and walked into a hyper-realistic house that looked exactly like mine. After that I heard my front door open. I ran out into the garage and grabbed a .44 Magnum. When I walked into my living room Mario was sitting on my couch holding a M1911 pistol. Mario almost shot me but I dodged the bullet like a madman. When I got the chance I shot him in the head 3 times, the balls 1 time, and the stomach 2 times.

Mario collapsed on the floor and died. A few seconds after Mario died his body disappeared into a ball of smoke. When I got on the computer the ending music for Super Mario Bros. was playing. Standing in world 1-1 were the ghosts of every single Toad that Mario killed.

"Mario is still alive. He killed every single living creature in the Mushroom Kingdom. Now he's starting to kill people in the real world. and you will be his first victim. He wants to make your death slow and painful. watch out David Biscuitberg" the Toads said. "What the! How the hell did they know my real name!" I screamed in shock. After the Toads were done talking, the emulator crashed and took me to the desktop. I noticed that the game was deleted. I went to school the next day still thinking about those poor Toads. I dmed the guy that sent me the game and asked him why the fuck he would make me play something cursed. So far he hasn't responded. I told some of my friends about this whole ordeal and they just laughed at me. My "friends" told all of the kids in my high school and now I get bullied a lot at school.

I hate life now. If I just hadn't played that god-forsaken game I probably would live a happy life with friends who care about me. I just learned how to tie a noose. Soon I shall rest with the Toads and Luigi. Luigi has always been my favorite Mario character. I can't wait to meet him! I know it's because of that fucking game. I get the feeling that i'm being watched by a italian plumber. I'm going to end it before he does.

Goodbye.

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