Super Smash Bros: Death

I used to be a gigantic fan of Super Smash Bros. I had every game, even the fan-made ones and the virtual console releases. I had every character unlocked, every trophy, every sticker and every game mode unlocked for these games. I also played 24/7 and got my parents to bring me snacks. In case you're wondering, I was about 400 pounds and I still lived with my parents. I dropped out of school to play Smash Bros all day, if you were asking. But ever since this happened, I stopped playing Super Smash Bros. Let me tell you my story.

I was casually playing Super Smash Bros for the Nintendo 64, rekting some Level 9 CPU's because I'm obviously the best person ever and I'm cool, when my game suddenly broke for no reason. Being the fatass I was, I asked my mom to give me my laptop. She gave it to me, she called me a disgrace and left the house. You know, the usual. I searched up Super Smash Bros on eBay, and everything cost money though. Since I'm broke and my parents won't give me money, I went onto YouTube and went into the comments section of a Smash Bros video and asked for a free copy of the game. I refreshed YouTube and somebody replied to my comment saying: "Look behind you!"

Since I was a fatass, I asked my dad to look behind me for me, and after he did he passed me a copy of SUPER SMASH BROS! But, instead of the label being on the cartridge, SSB64 was writen on the cartridge with red marker... and it seemed to be bleeding. I told my dad to put the cartridge in my Nintendo 64, and he turned on the TV and Nintendo 64 and gave me my controller. When the game started up, there was no starting intro. Just a still image of a hyper-realistic Mario with... hyper-realistic bleeding eyes. His face was deformed, and he had no body. Since I'm smart I thought this was just a glitch and it was the beta version of the game, so I continued playing the game.

The title screen showed up and the title said Super Smash Bros: Death. The words were bold and red and bleeding. The background was red and covered with fire. It looked like I was there, bleeding and burning in the background, but I'm so cool and amazing so obviously that was some other fatass. I completely ignored the title screen because I'm really smart. When I got in the game, the game cut to a hyper-realistic video of my sister hyper-realisticly bleeding from her whole body and burning on fire. Upstairs, I heard my sister screaming but I shrugged it off since I'm super smart.

After the video ended I was sent into the character selection screen with the same burning background. The Lavender Town music started playing but the characters were normal. I selected Mario and the enemy was instantly selected as a hyper-realistic Mario who was the same colour as my Mario, and he was hyper-realisticly bleeding from everywhere. His level was 666. Since I'm scrumptiously smart I ignored this and went to the stage selection screen. The only stage was "Hell" and it had the same image of Mario that showed up at the start of the game as the image for the stage, but I'm smart as I mentioned a lot already, so I started the stage.

When the stage started up, it looked like a hyper-realistic version of my house burning with blood all around it. I ignored that though since I'm the smartest person ever. The Lavender Town music started playing backwards and the announcer sounded like me. I shrugged it off and the match started. I started beating up the hyper-realistic Mario, but he didn't get hurt. A cutscene started where the hyper-realistic Mario ripped off my Mario's head and hyper-realistic blood came out. Before the cutscene ended, my house caught on fire! I panicked and panicked, but my dad started rolling me out of the house. He died though. I didn't care though, because he never gave me food.

My mom found me and rolled me to a new house. I started working out, I got a job, I started eating healthy and I stopped playing video games. I'm about 250 pounds now, and I must warn you. Never play a game you get from a YouTube comment section. Also, you're next.

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