TF2: The Golden Pan Hack

Authors note: This story is 100% VERY REAL! Do not download the mod i did or the same will happen to you!!

It was just a regular day when I decided one day to go on Gamebanana to find some cool mods for my favourite game, Team Fortress 2. When I was looking I found a mod titled "Golden frying pan hack (not a reskin, actually gives you a golden pan)". It seemed kind of suspicious at first but i really really wanted a golden pan so i decided to download it anyway.

After downloading the mod i started up my TF2 (Team Fortress 2). BAD IDEA. When it first started my game resolution was at 1240 x 600, which was strange because my usual resolution was way higher. I didn't think anything of it and changed my resolution back to 1920 x 1080, and that's when it happened. When the game loaded back up everything was covered in realistic blood. Saxton Hale had a creepy smile on his face and the yeti he usually stands on had its skull smashed open with more realistic blood and its arm was torn off and being held in Saxton's hand. I was scared at first but i thought maybe it was an unannounced Halloween update put out in February and clicked on the casual matchmaking button. When i did the only map available was a map called 666Fort. I thought it was maybe a bug so i made a bug report and started searching for a game.

After waiting for 666 seconds i finally found a match and when i went into it it was still on 666Fort. I loaded into the game and went to pick my favourite class, Demoman, but i noticed his right eye was super realistic like it was a real eye and his left eye had no eyepatch and was leaking blood. I also noticed all the class' numbers were 666 and the Demoman's name wasn't Demoman but it was Deadoman. I checked the other classes and they all had blood coming out of their eyes and the Scout had realistic ears too. I tried to hit esc but the game just laughed at me and i couldn't quit the game. Having nothing left to do but play the game i selected Demoman and a very loud and scary laugh played as i was spawned in. When i did, some text came up that looked like it was dripping blood and it said "Make them all not live" and then i got scared and peed a little but it was okay because i was on the toilet. I tried to move but all my controls were reversed but when i finally did manage to maneuver out of spawn, a Spy backstabbed me and my Demoman let out a hyper-realistic scream like he was actually in real pain. Then i noticed my respawn time was 666 seconds and didn't go down, but then i respawned anyway a few seconds later. When i walked back out of spawn, i witnessed horrifying events of the TF2 characters dying in horrifying ways like burning, being shot, bleeding to death, being blown up, and being bludgeoned with a cooking instrument and it made me puke, but that was okay too because i puked into the sink. I realized i had to stop this so i pulled out my computer cord and threw my computer out the window. It landed on my neighbor's car and i felt a little bad but i knew it was for the greater good. I was finally safe.

Or so i thought.

Nothing else strange happened for the rest of the day. I told my parents about what happened but they told me i was a pussy for being scared of that "weak-ass shit" and my dad slapped me with his Hot Hand and a rubber chicken and sent me to my room without dinner. I went to bed crying because nobody would believe my story. As i was lying in bed and crying in bed i heard an echoey voice say "Welcome to Team Fortress 2. after 9 years in development, hopefully it will have been worth the wait" and i sat up immeditaly to see nothing was there, but i did notice my computer was back in my room and it was turned on and TF2 was on the screen. I went over to see and the menu was still covered in blood, this time at least 20% more realistic than before. I went into my backpack but all my items were gone and all the classes had little stumps in place of their heads. Suddenly i felt something behind me and when i turned around i saw Gabe Newell himself holding my wallet in his hand. I tried to scream but i could muster no sound from my sound hole. Then strange tentacles flew out of my wallet and into my arm and started draining my blood. When it did, money kept coming out of my wallet, money that i didn't even have in there. I started to feel dizzy and everything went blurry and i fell back onto my bed. As i was about to pass out, Gabe came close and whipered in my ear: "Thanks, and have fun".

Then i woke up and everything was okay. But then i heard people speaking downstairs and went to investigate. When i got down there my parents were speaking with the police and they saw me and asked me to come over there. I did and one officer said to me "Your friend Billy is dead. he died last night through all his blood being drained. The murderer escaped and left no evidence except for a couple of $20 bills and a $5 Steam gift card. If you know any information that could help us in this investigation, please let us know". Then i cried because my best friend was dead and i fell to the floor.

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