THE MENACING MISCHIEF OF THE ULTIMATE POWER IN THE UNIVERSE STORY OF SHAGSONATH THE SPACE WARRIOR THE MILKY WAY ODYESSY ACROSS THE GALAXY ULTIMATE REVELATION PART I FINDING THE SHUTTLECOCK (EBOOK)
INTRO
WARNING/ACHTUNG - If you read this Ebook without the Shagsonath theme you will die from Space Jihad and go to Al Jahannam!!
The Song: CCCC3 C4C3C4C3C4 X2 EEEE3 E4E3E4E3E4 X2, CCCC3 ACACA X2 CCCCCCCkdjsghkjzehcgfyer
Francais: Si tu lis cette Ebook sans le chanson de Shagsonath, tu mourras a cause de la Space Jihad et tu alleras au Al Jahannam!!
CHAPTER 1
Chapter 1 - Beginning of the beginning of the ultimate uprsing of Space Jihad through the power and predestination of Space Allah, or just Allah; descendant of Al Nasir Salah Al Din Ab Yusuf Ibn Ayyub, Shagsonath I, also descendant of Elon Mosque I, II and Shesh Makesh I, II, III, IV, V and LXIX.
Elon Mosque I was the sole inventor of Space Jihad, finding ridicule in his day, he only made it a family secret the power and truth of Space Islam.
He had a son, who had a son, who had a son, who had a son, who had a son, who had a son, who had a son, who had Shagsonath.
These sons of sons were: Elon Mosque II, Shesh Makesh I, Shesh Makesh II, Shesh Makesh III, Shesh Makesh IV, Shesh Makesh V, Shesh Makesh LXIX, and Shagsonath I.
However, his grandson, Shesh Makesh I, son of Elon Mosque II, had made his own plans.
Over this time: 100 years or so had passed. As it turned out, all of the bloodline were the direct descendants of the king of the Ayyubite Dynasty: Al Nasir Salah Al Din Ab Yusuf Ibn Ayyub.
Shesh used his status as Ayyubite heir to re-reveal the message and revelation of Space Jihad. In his victory, he renamed the Sahara Desert to Booyah Desert, also Mars.
Some say the sun wore shades that day, but it was probably just Max Cool, nephew of the Uncool Uncle.
Every believer was prepared for their true journey of truth to the true space paradise of Al Jannah, child of Allah who is the son of none because he's literally God and that would be shirk (not to be confused with Midget Shurk).
Shesh Makesh I then began to rule and went on to have a son, that had a son, that had a son, that had a son, that had a son, that had a son, who finally bore Shagsonath.
After 187 years, Shagsonath was finally born, in the Booyah Desert on Earth. Soon he would move to the Booyah Desert to begin his training.
CHAPTER 2
Chapter 2: The primitive age of the ultimate task in the universe for the ways and the power of Space Jihad; invasion of aliens that disrupt the longest Ramadan on the red planet Booyah Desert.
Booyah was a wasteland, full of nothing but sand and some plants. Air had been added lest our hero die during the Booyahyeyan Ramadan.
He space-fasted for three days and nights at a time; fighting to become strong, eating sand and reciting the Space Qu'ran. His aims were successful as holy space-magic flew into him and made him great and manly, beautiful in stature.
Suddenly, as if sudden caused by a suddenly sudden event caused in suddenness all of a sudden, a triangular craft flew past the corner of his manly, muscular, six-pack eye.
The space alien UFO ship of evil space aliens saw him too, and began inching forward to duel in a hyper battle duel of Jihad battle.
These alien aliens were green and tentacly, hyperrealistic, a product of Shaytan and the Antijihad. They flooded out in a hundred team group army of a hundred strong centurion.
First words: Shagsonath meditated his magic holy Space Jihad powers to say the magic words. "Ooh, ee, ooh ah ah, ting tang, walla walla bing bang!" he invoked.
The aliens fell under the power of Jihad Shagsonath, Jihad fuelled in space. They had succumbed to the Explosive Shart of Death and had sharted then exploded into the speckiest specs of splintered flesh smithereens of fine debris.
Ramadan must end.
CHAPTER 3
Chapter 3: The space race for the power of the ultimate power in the universe known as the Shuttlecock Ancient Gear, left by ancient alien SDFs to now be used for Space Jihad versus the robotical alien overlord, lord of the alien armada of aliens Zark Muckerburg.
Zark Muckerburg, son of the late Mark Zuckerburg is a Neptunian alien of Neptune and overlord of the solar system aliens. Like his biological father, he was a robotical tech cyborg robot with illegal stealing of deeta, and Deeta I who was to be Shagsonath I's wife.
He caught news of the Space Islamic man in Booyah and how he shat the asses of all those Martian quadrant aliens and was very sus sussy impostor baka sus. In a very Meta move, he put on his flesh coat (TM) to greet Shagsonath.
Simultaneously, the angel Space Jibril told Space Shagsonath of the Ancient Gear known as the Shuttlecock in the Booyah Volcano. But which one? he wondered to himself.
This paranormal event was caught on camera, definitive proof of Space Islam Jihad Angels, by Zark Muckerburg. And he knew at once that he must lock away all deeta, Deeta and the Shuttlecock of cock shuttles. But which one? he wondered to himself, so many Volcanoes on Booyah.
Both Shagsonath and Zark were wondering, until they both saw a space hunter and a fat rabbit. The hunter had trapped the rabbit underground with a trapdoor.
"That'll hold him alright," the hunter laughed. Then he left.
The rabbit then climbed out and mocked his adversary: "That'll hold him alright, hehehehe." He then slammed the door again, "Phooey!"
The planet shook as he stormed off, leaving unprotected the Booyah Volcano of Big Chungus. The door and the blood red sand were hyperrealistic like the Hedgehog of Space Shaytan.
At once, Shagsonath met with Zark Muckerburg, and as he left the space spaceship, Shagsonath stood his ground ready to Jihad. Zark's voice was clear but monotone.
"Shagsonath," he said, "You will not have this vent, I will sus you to death."
"Shame," Shagsonath responded promptly. "By the will of Space Allah, it is Just Jihad January."
A wave of fear passe dover Zark's emotionless face, but he did not falter.
"Last warning, Shagsonath, or this human girl dies and I will do the Jihad of Shaytan on this girl." A woman in cuffs stepped out of the craft. Shagsonath recognised her immediately.
"Princess Deeta!"
Shagsonath was overcome by space anger and threatens Zark.
"Zark, I will shit your ass!"
Zark could not compute a response and stood silent. The deeta, and Deeta were still hostage.
Shagsonath knew robots couldn't shart so he had to employ a new strategy.
"Max Cool!" he yelled, attempting to become a chosen of Maximum Coolness.
The glasses fell from the sky and were fitted. By miracle, he could still see and was not stricken with blindness. From the lenses, two beams were fired, one at Deeta's cuffs, another directly at Zark Muckerburg.
The cuffs were broken and Zark began to melt and immolate. He pulled out his bisexual finger guns and hit nothing, for his aimbot was destroyed.
In his last breaths of code, he said this: " My ass has been shitted, oh why has the next Antijihad not been found? I is dead now. "
Shagsonath and Deeta were now in the recesses of the tunnel.
CHAPTER 4
Chapter 4: The ultimate Chungular quest to find the Shuttlecock under the volcano - a sparring match with Big Chungus on his space return for directions and a sword for ultimate powerful metal Space Jihad and five-minute crafts.
The tunnels were dark, but the brightness of Maximum Coolness lit like the sun. Deeta was uneasy, maybe just in awe of how epic games poggers cool Shagsonath was.
At last she spoke: "Oh, Shagsonath, I want to have your Jihad space-babies!"
"In due time, Deeta," Shagsonath graciously replied, "We cannot until we are married, or else that is space-Haram."
A loud noise, such as a rock rolling or similarly large and noisy rolling object that wasn't your mum had begun to get closer and closer. A giant blue furball was chasing them down the tunnel and into the vestibule.
After the shape crashed, it was revealed to have been none other than Big Chungus. As he unrolled himself, with a transformers sound effect, he turned to greet Shagsonath.
"Sorry 'bout that, Doc. Mind tellin' your name?"
"I am Shagsonath I, son of Shesh Makesh LXIX, from Shesh Makesh V, IV, III, II, I and Elon Mosque II and I; I am the sole heir to Al Nasir Salah Al Din Ab Yusuf Ibn Ayyub."
"You're the Shagsonath?" he exclaimed.
"Yes."
There is a cat outside my house. He movin', he schmovin', cute ginger cat. Mucho jalapeño viento.
Back to the task at hand, Shagsonath was challenged to a friendly duel, a duel to last all time.
Shagsonath prepared his deck.
As a child, he had spent countless cash money on SchmAmazon to build the ultimate deck in the universe. They shuffled each other's decks then, then drew five cards.
In space card games, there is no banlist, therefore Shagsonath plays Pot of Greed twice.
However, Chungus stopped his plans to summon Exodia by discarding Droll & Lock Bird.
Shagsonath plays his new strategy, he would fuse himself with the exodia pieces in his hand.
"I play Super Polymerisation!"
"Naniiii!?"
"Shagzodia! Obliterate!"
Big Chungus was defeated on the first turn. He was not killed dead however, because this was a children's card game.
"Conglaturations, winnerer! You will now recieve my second most prised possession."
He brandished a knife, brimming with untold hotness.
"This is the 1000* degree knife, it is so hot it is literally a thousand degrees!" Chungus procured it to Shag Sonath.
"Thank," Shagsonath thanked him, "'Twas a valiant effort."
On cue, by chance only seen by great timing on the cue of good timed event flow, the opposite door opened. Following was a noselike, nasaly laugh.
"Ar-ha, ar-ha, ar-ha, ar-ha!"
CHAPTER 5
Chapter 5: The Menacinger Mischiefer of the other ultimate power in the universe, the blood-man who was phone, Dickward III the Torture of Dickward II the Balls of Dickward I the cock who opposes Shagsonath as the Antijihad nouveau who guards the Shuttlecock with his IDD (Instant Death Disease).
"Deeta I, stay back!" Shagsonath exclaimed, "This is one sussy impostor!"
Deeta and Big Chungus left the room as Shagsonath confronted the demon in front of hissen.
He was blue (dabbe dee dabba die) and humanoid. Alien and evil, nose dick-shaped, with the voice of a missing father figure. He was tall, strong, not sexy like Shagsonath, though. He laughed again as he steppingly stepped out of the shadowy shadows of Shuttlecock darkness.
"Ar-ha, ar-ha, ar-ha, ar-ha!" he bellowed. "I've been space-expecting you, Shagsonath."
"Who are you?"
More laughing followed.
"I am Phone, I am the Antijihad, the uncle you can never Bob, the bacon you forgot to label that your mates feasted on: I am Dickward!"
He casted the strongest spell known to Jihadkind, the Instant Death Disease. Not at Shagsonath, but Big Chungus!
He died.
Shagsonath looked behind him in horror which turned into rage, only the skeleton left behind. Shagsonath had an agenda, he must burger to vanquish this foe.
Ow my arm.
CHAPTER 6
Chapter 6: The fight to last until the next time they fight which will last the whole universe of space where Dickward dies but not really because he comes back later and my arm still hurts.
"I'll go easy on you, Sussonath!" Dickward released a stream of lightning from his hands.
Instead of blocking or dodging, Shagsonath raised his sword and became a rod-like lightning rod of grounding mastery of lightning. At once, the knife grew into an actual sword and became hotter than ever.
Nyoom! The lightning was deflected at Dickward, hotter than ever. Dick Ward flew back and hurted his back and buttocks. Those buttocks were his favourite part.
Anger.
Dickward rose and cast again, this time: The Extreme Ass Itch of Painful Failed Resistance. Shagsonath's ass began to itch painfully, unjihadly.
"Yahoo!" He yelped, jumping and landing anally. "Y-y-y-y-y-y..."
He's backwards long jumping to scratch against the floor. On release, he was so fast that he became QPU aligned and moved back and forth to crash into Dickward II: Electric Boogaloo a million times.
His jeans were burned away and his buttocks were on fire, blazingly ablaze the cat. Dickward struggled to recover, while the spell had ended.
"Remember, I am four parallel universes ahead of you." He said.
Sluggishly getting to his feet, Dick coughed up hyperrealistic blood and began punching Shagsonath repeatedly.
Shagsonath was unmoving like a stone of concentrated Jihadness.
"Why won't you die!?"
"Jihad, son. It hardens in response to parodies."
"Parodies?"
"Mind goblin deez nuts!" He drop kicked Dickward into the Shuttlecock which clanged sexly.
"The memes..." Dickward faded into susdust© and obscurity, leaving the Shuttlecock unjihaded and unantijihaded.
CHAPTER 7
Chapter 7: The final chapter of part one where the Shuttlecock actually gets found and the gears of the ancient gear torture the cock and balls of challengers to weed out the weak before attaching to the actual cock to make boners magnum manganese and shuttle sized but because it is Shagsonath, the son of a son of a son of a son of a son of a son of a son of a son of Al Nasir Salah Al Din Ab Yusuf Ibn Ayyub who was a son also, Shagsonath can bone and debone both chicken legs and dong at will, Dickward will return later on but they only fight again for real in Part 3 and every other time from now is for the lulz ZOMG EVIL DIXXX instantly deadified me with his IDD and the Shuttlecock is not to be confused with the (lowercase) shuttlecock from the hit game badminton and its many space-sequels like Badminton 15: Revenge of the mistreated net.
Imminent to the Shuttlecock as Space Allah was to Shagsonath, Shagsonath imminently placed his imminently imminent hand imminently and became closer to the Shuttlecock than his jugular vein. As he caressed the metal monkey milker, he began to feel a tortuous pain as his cock and balls were tortured and his testacles (pronounced 'test-uh-clees') began to bakuganize into Bakugan balls.
Shagsonath stuck his feet to the ground and gritted his teeth. Was this the science behind enlargement pills?
The Shuttlecock began to tear apart, frame-by-frame, to attach to Shagsonath's non-shuttle cock. The process was excruciating, however, the power of Space Jihad defeated the space pain like a really effective space-aspirin. The transformation would soon be complete.
The cock is still not shuttle, but the pain becomes less and less, and gains an 'S' so that we may discover a third Booyah: Spain.
"Mucho jamon viento..." Shagsonath grunted, funny-moustachely, "¡Perfecto rayo fantastico!"
The agony had ended. Shagsonath continued.
"¡Jalapeño jihad-en-spaceo! ¡Muy calliente perro pequeño! ¡Hola, soy dora... soy Shagsonath guapo!"
The Shuttlecock transformation had been completed and Shagsonath's cock became like the Zark Muckerburg triangle spacecraft. There was no time to mourn Big Chungus, but Allah would confer his soul ensouled to Al Jannah for his space Zakah, space Khums and Space Jihad. Deeta was now strangely inside a cock.
Shagsonath engaged thrust and erupted through the volcano with Deeta at his side, being de-milked from the Milky Way, his guidance from the power within the power within the power within the power within the power within the power within the power within the power within the power within the power within the power within the power within the power within the power within the power within the power within the power within the power within the power within the power within the power within the power within the power within the power within the power within the power within the power within the power within (yeah!) had told him to discharge from our galaxy and travel to the maddening choir of the Hooyab Tundra at the very centre of the Booyah Desert.
So, uh... He found the Shuttlecock, everyone go home now. Jajajajajaj.
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