THIS IS MY RIFLE
Old copypasta dating back to 2010
THE FIRST AND MOST IMPORTANT THING I CARRY EVERY SINGLE DAY IS MY GUN, BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN A TERRORIST NAZI COMMUNIST MIGHT TRY TO HURT/MUG/KILL ME!
THE SECOND IS MY CELL PHONE SO THAT I CAN ALWAYS CHECK FOR TEXT AND PHONE MESSAGES THAT I NEVER GET
THE NEXT IS MY MP3 PLAYER, EVEN THOUGH MY PHONE ALSO HAS MP3 CAPABILITY, BUT IT LOOKS COOL!
THE NEXT IS MY PDA, BECAUSE WITH MY BUSY SCHEDULE OF BROWSING 4CHAN AND FAPPING TO PORN IT'S HARD TO KEEP TRACK OF ALL THE OTHER THINGS THAT NEED TO GET DONE
THE THIRD IS MY LIGHTER, EVEN THOUGH I USUALLY DON'T HAVE ANY CIGARETTES IN THE PICTURE. I TRY TO DO TRICKS WITH IT TO IMPRESS PEOPLE BUT I USUALLY END UP FAILING, AND PEOPLE LAUGH AWKWARDLY WHILE TRYING TO SAY THAT I DID OK.
NEXT I CARRY ANOTHER LIGHTER, JUST IN CASE MY OTHER ONE IS DAMAGED IN MY SHOOTOUT WITH THE ENEMY!
NEXT I CARRY A WATCH WITH 200 DIFFERENT FEATURES, 197 OF WHICH I NEVER USE.
NEXT I CARRY A BUNCH OF KEYS. A BUNCH. MOST ARE TO PADLOCKS I BOUGHT AND HAVE IN A TRUNK THAT'S LOCKED WITH A PADLOCK. IT MAKES ME LOOK IMPORTANT TO HAVE A LOT OF KEYS, THOUGH.
NEXT IS MY 50 MILLION CANDLEPOWER ELITE TACTICAL TOTALLY USED BY THE SEALS TACTICAL OPERATIONS FLASHLIGHT, FOR PLAYING WITH MY CAT.
NEXT IS MY WALLET, WHICH CONTAINS MORE MONEY THAN I ACTUALLY NEED IN CASH, BUT IT LOOKS COOL WHEN I HAVE ALL DAT PAPER. ALSO, LOOK I JUST HAPPENED TO HAVE MY ID SHOWING. I'M SO COOL TO HAVE "ACCIDENTALLY" PUT MY PICTURE ON THE INTERNET.
NEXT IS MY FOLDING TACTICAL 2.5" KNIFE, JUST IN CASE I RUN OUT OF AMMO OR AM ATTACKED BY A VICIOUS GANG OF CARDBOARD BOXES THAT NEED TO BE OPENED.
NEXT IS MY OTHER TACTICAL FOLDING KNIFE JUST IN CASE I HAVE TO LODGE THE OTHER ONE IN THE HEART OF AN ATTACKER!
NEXT IS MY MULTI-TOOL, JUST IN CASE I NEED TO REPAIR A JET OR SOMETHING.
LAST IS ANY SORT OF DECORATIONAL ITEM THAT I DON'T REALLY WEAR, BUT CARRY AROUND JUST IN CASE I'M ALONE SO THAT I CAN LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND THINK I LOOK COOL WITHOUT PEOPLE JUDGING ME.
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