Teletubbies Purgatory Theory

I'm a crazy drunken Gaelic man who went a wee crazy after I found out about the Teletubbies Purgatory Theory. I was just a wee lad when I grew up watchin the Teletubbies on the telly. I always loved watching it as a lad and without it I would never have become the man I am today.

Ye know I once noticed that the house where the Teletubbies live looks just fekin like the old Celtic burial mound Bryn Celli Ddu. Guess who created the Teletubbies: that right, it was them damn Brits! That was how I found out that the Teletubbies were actually the ghosts of the Anglo-Saxon warriors who were brutally murdered by some strange magical sky demon and sent to Purgatory for killing a bunch of young Celtic children. These Celtic children appear as ghosts, fekin ghosts I shit ye not, on the televisions on the Teletubbies' stomachs. The reason the Teletubbies were sent to Purgatory lookin like those creepy fekin monstrosities is because the narrator (God) wanted to punish them by making them into some ugly motherfuckers and every time those Celtic children appear they're only happy because every time they appear the Teletubbies endure unbearable pain from the ghost children tearin up their fekin insides to appear in the ye old televisions and so the holy narrator narrates the painful afterlife of the fekin Teletubbies until the end of time for their crimes in ye old Brittania.

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