Thanksgiving Drive

Hopefully everyone had a great Thanksgiving. I for one had quite the eventful day. Ate lots of food, had great conversations and on the drive home shit myself in my truck.

So as a 37 year old man child I can officially say I now have shit myself in front of my wife and kids while driving at 80mph down a highway. God help them with their future therapy sessions when they get older and have to explain how they watched their father stand in a ditch off the highway and use one of his dress socks to clean himself while people drove by and honked.

I can only guess that the gravy mixed with the apple pie created some type of brewing in my gut mixed with the meds I take and created mass amounts of bubble gut. The tight jeans and belt created back pressure while sitting in the truck thus when finally released inside the truck opened a Mount St. Helen's type of eruption. At first was just hot gas followed by huge explosions and liquid disaster.

My poor wife who was located next to me in the drinkers seat was privy to seeing my facial expression go from smiling and laughing to sheer terror and embarassment. There is not enough words that can explain the aftermath.

Just remember even after cleaning myself I still had to drive back home with nothing more then a Hoodie around my waste, one sock on and a group of children gagging and crying in the backseat while my wife, God bless her, is trying to calm them down and explain that I'm not dying.

Other then that. Happy Thanksgiving everybody.

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