That ONE time David tried cooking

Uploader's note: I don't own this story, a friend wrote it a while ago and it was on a flash drive she gave me. I asked and she let me put it where I thought it belonged, this seemed like the right thing at the time...

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So there was this 27-year-old guy named David or some shit and he was all like, "Lol, I should cook spaghetti, even though I don't know how to cook."

That is exactly what David did, make spaghetti. However, he must have added too much mustard because the spaghetti came alive! And it was all like, "Why did you add grape juice to spaghetti?!"

David was like, "Lol idk." Which pissed the spaghetti off so much that it had the urge to kill David.

So it did, it took a knife and cut his throat and there was blood everywhere, like seriously was David secretly a blood fountain. Then the spaghetti cut his stomach open and ripped out his organs and there was more blood. Where does David get all this blood?! It was everywhere!

Then his 22-year-old sister Susanna walked in and was like, "Lol, nope." Susanna left after that, not wanting to deal with this shit.

Spaghetti then turned into a demon and went after Susanna... or was it Susan? Whatever, who cares what her name was. All you need to know is that the spaghetti killed her in a very brutal and bloody way.

Then the spaghetti produced an elderly man or something. It then ate the man, which for some reason was a ravioli? Yeah, I don't know...

Spaghetti then went out and had coffee at Starbucks, but the 25-year-old barista messed up its latte, so he ate her too, no not sexually you pervs. He literally ate her like she was a strawberry jelly sandwich. Then the spaghetti exploded, no wait that's not a good ending... It was all like, I will kill you all and then it flew off with its demon wings to terrorize people. Yeah, that's a good ending...

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