The (Fake) Rules of Trollpasta

From Trollpasta Wiki
Jump to navigationJump to search
Mr bean.png   NSFW WARNING

This page is not safe for work or school. The content of this story is not suitable for some audiences, and may be inappropriate to view in some situations.
...Or in all situations, at any time, any place, and by any audience for that matter.

1. Rule 2 is false.

2. Rule 1 is true.  

3. We are Illuminati. 

4. Illuminati is legion. 

5. Illuminati does not forgive, Illuminati does not forget.

6. Illuminati can be horrible, senseless, uncaring monster. 

7. Illuminati is still able to deliver. 

8. There are no real rules about posting. 

9. There are no real rules about moderation either — enjoy your ban.

10. If you enjoy any rival wiki — DON'T.

11. You must have pictures to prove your statement. 

12. Lurk moar — it's never enough. 

13. Nothing is Sacred. 

14. Do not argue with GodzillaFan1 — it means that he wins. 

15. The more beautiful and pure a thing is, the more satisfying it is to corrupt it. 

16. There are NO girls on Trollpasta Wiki. 

17. A cat is fine too. 

18. One cat leads to another. 

19. The actual answer to whats 9+10 

20. It is delicious cupcake. You must eat it. 

21. LOL VINE AMIRITE LOL WHATS 9 + 10

22. Club Penguin sucks today.

23. Cock goes in here. 

24. You will never have buttsex.

25. ???? 

26. PROFIT!

27. It needs more EVIL PATRIXXX. No exceptions. 

28. There will always be more fucked up shit than what you just saw. 

29. You can not divide by ∞ (just because the calculator says so). 

30. No real limits of any kind apply here — not even the sky. 

31. CAPSLOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL. 

32. EVEN WITH CRUISE CONTROL YOU STILL HAVE TO STEER. 

33. EVIL PATRIXXX isn't funny. Seriously guys. It's worse than ebola jokes. 

34. If it exists, there is a Trollpasta of it. No exceptions. 

35. If no Trollpasta is found of it, it will be created. 

36. No matter what it is, it is somebody's fetish. No exceptions. 

37. Even one positive comment about PATRIXXX can make you a Nazi. 

38. When one sees a bandit, one must pass the whiskey 

39. if it exists, it has been ponified. No exceptions. 

40. The pool is always closed due to ebola (and horses, which also have ebola).

41. If there isn't enough just ask for Moar. 

42. Everything has been cracked and pirated. 

43. DISREGARD THAT I GAVE EVIL PATRIXXX ANAL 

44. Trollpasta WIki is not your personal world. 

45. Rule 45 is a lie. 

46. The cake is a lie. 

47. If you post it, they will cum. 

48. It will always need moar sauce. 

49. Trollpasta makes you traumatized.

50. Anything can become a trollpasta. 

51. TF2 > CoD. No Exceptions 

52. If something goes wrong, Worm Jeff did it.

53. ChocolateCthulhu is a virgin by default. 

54. Most of the admins have dragon dildos, even in real life. No exceptions. 

55. High levels of misspelling is awwwright, but mindless jumble will get you b&.

56. Don't mess with Slender. 

57. LOLSKELETONS has never seen so many ingrates. 

58. ChocolateCthulu does not "buy", he downloads. 

59. The term "sage" does not refer to the spice.

60. If you say Candlejack, you w 

61. You cannot divide by ∞. 

62. The internet is SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS. 

63. If you do not believe it, then it must be habeebed for great justice.

64. Only Sanic knows how to fast.

65. Mitchell Henderson was an hero to us all. 

66. This is not lupus, it's SPARTAAAAAAAAAA.

67. One does not simply shoop da whoop into Mordor. 

68. Louis is bi, so deal w/it. 

69. LOL SIXTY NINE AMIRITE? 

70. Also, cocks.

71. This is a showdown, a throwdown, hell no I can't slow down, it's gonna go. 

72. GodzillaFan1 did NOT, under any circumstances, tk him 2da bar|? 

73. If you express astonishment at someone's claim, it is most likely just a clever ruse. 

74. If it hadn't been for Cotton Eyed Joe, EVIL PATRIXXX would have been married a long time ago. 

75. Around Snacks, creepypasta is lax.

76. All numbers are at least 100 but always OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAND. 

77. Hal Turner definitely needs to gb2/hell/. 

78. Mods are fucking morons. No exceptions. 

79. All Caturday threads will be bombarded with Zippocat. No exceptions. 

80. No matter how cute it is, it probably skullfucked your mother last night. 

81. That's not mud. 

82. Elvis's death is really, really funny.

83. The Internet is SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS. 

84. Rule 87 is true. 

85. Yes, it is some chickens. 

86. Bobba bobba is bobba.

87. Rule 84 is false. OH SHI- 

88. If your statement is preceded by "sup m8s 420 blaze it", then you are not doing it right. 

89. If you cannot understand it, it is machine code. 

90. NASA still owes John Madden one aeioullion footballss. 

91. SONGBOXXX is luv EVIL PATRIXXX iz fwend. 

92. Disregard Lauren Faust, she sucks cocks. 

93. Secure tripcodes are for jerks. 

94. If someone herd u liek Mudkips, deny it constantly for the lulz. 

95. Combo breakers are inevitable. If the combo is completed successfully, it is gay. 

96. I am a huge moron. Please fuck my asshole, FatalDisease..

97. Shit sucks and will never be stickied. 

98. Bricks must are required to be shat whenever someone posts 'THIS IS BAD CREEPYPASTA >:('

99. If you have no bricks to shit, you are made of fail and AIDS. 

100. ZOMG NONE

101. You must tell us where the freaks at. NO EXCEPTIONS.

102. If you watch MLP, you're a Nazi.

103. if you watch Nazis, you're in MLP.

104. Gaben is the overlord.

105. ...

106. if you ever think of going to the moon, NEVER, say aeiou.

107. Bonzi Buddy is EEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL!!!

108. This isn't plagarism.

109. If one is to set alight to a hat, it is worth more.

110. Coins are illegal, now currency rely around a less common status e.g. 2 refind metals = Stout Shako.

111. 1 + 1 + 1 = 3. ILLUMINATI COMFIRMED! NO EXCEPTIONS!

112. Herobrine wasn't scary.

113. Herobrine will never be scary.

114. This SHALL be the longest list on Trollpasta.

115. /sp/ mods have to be the worst.

116 HAIL MOTHER RUSSIA

117. VODKA

118. idiot, idiot bitch idiot, idiot 

          • , fried chicken idiot, watermelon idiot,

bitch idiot, idiot, white women, titties, ass...

119. Trumpets are evil and shall not be trusted.

120. If you knife me, you're dead.

121. You MUST ask SG to pay debts everytime he is in the chat.

122. SHREK IS LOVE SHREK IS LIFE.

123. The chat is a furry circlejerk

124. If it exists, my dick has been inside it. No exceptions.

125. People must obey Troodon200 or be attacked by his puppets.

126. If a fetish exists, Thebigpuppy can make it funny for a month, then get a rule made about it.

127. Skepolo can make any rule he wants because he is arrogant.

128. Do not feed the creeper.

129. Don't tell Puppy that no one cares.

130. That's Animationfan to you Mario.

131. The Jeebus guy died for ur Dunkin Donuts.

132. STOP HATING ON SONIC

133. LIKE SONIC LIKE SONIC LIKE SONIC

134. Rebel of Rebellion is a raisin. NO EXCEPTIONS.

135. Robbie Rotten is the hottest person in LazyTown, NO EXCEPTIONS.

136. Stories with bad grammar should be annihilated.

137. Rules are allowed to contradict each other, as long as they continue to make enough sense that they make no sense.

138. If it exists, the XXXL Annihilator has been in it.

139. You just lost The Game. No exceptions

140. Fezzes are cooler than you. No exceptions

141. You have been rekt by the SwagPigeon. No exceptions

142. You get banned if you read this far.

143. This statement is false

144. NO SOUP FOR YOU!

145. If you acquire soup, it shall be taken away

146. Copy & Paste is for losers

147. Copy & Paste is for losers

148. Copy & Paste is for losers

149. Copy & Paste is for losers

150. SwagPigeon's power level is over 9000

151. Skepolo own's the world.

152. TotemUxie is a category. 

153. Skeletons must always be spooky. 

154. If skeletons are not spooky, they will turn to dust

155. Rumpg6691 is an undeniable moron that needs to stop eating shit filled assholes

156. ignore 155 and kill yourself

157. ARMIN IS BAE

158. Trigger hurt the second will rule the wikias!

159. you have no life if you make a rule praising yourself

160. Dynamals founded FaZe Clan in the year 6969 after evolving from Italy's pasta or somethin with Pepe in it. Idk.

161. SMOKE WEED ERRYDAY!

162. lavenderpikmin is an asshole

163. patrixxx cannot die unless he is resurrected 4 seconds prior

164. my hat is awesome

165. you may not get run over by an Illuminati van, you aren't worthy

166. there are stupid questions and answers

167. mangle is the sexiest fnaf character

168. what do you think of my beard?

169. if yo see justin bieber, kill it before it lays eggs!

170. noone is to exceed 7000 swag

171. I have no idea

172. patrixxx only likes poptarts and pirate's booty.

173. rule 234 is false

175. there is no rule 174

176. the sun is made of carrots, so says pirate shan connery and his whine glass parrot

177.Five points to Gryffindor!

178. five points from griffindor!

179. michel Bay is an asshole

180: keygasms are required

181: smike is stupid

182:When ppl start flamewars, it makes Raptor Jesus crai evritiem.

183: YOU'RE A KID NOW YOU'RE A SQUID NOW

184: MAKE A MEGAMAN ICON OR ELSE

185: why does clawsonhave a cg hentai character as his pp

186: Talk about FNAF porn at every opportunity

187: SWEDEN FOR LIFE

188: SWEDEN IS LEGION

189: SWEDEN FOREVER

190: Eat ChocolateCthulhu's Swedish meatballs

191: If Pirelot is around, ask him what it's like to be banned from the chat.

192: Rule #151 is a lie.

193. never realize things are weird until you am died

194. anyone who knows rules 1 and 2 need to repost them

195. we are nintendo... I mean illuminati, you cannot beat us

196. noodles

197. this rule doesn't exist

198. The laws of Japan do not apply here.

199. dr. Bright has no restrictions here

200. jontron is the source of all ideas, no exceptions

201. When Fruit Loops are present, everyone dies.

202. Sibling rivalry always turns into deep seated hatred, this applies especially to Mario and Luigi.

203. Creepypasta is rigatoni, unless it's linguine.

204. Trollpasta is vermicelli, unless it's Cocoa Puffs.

205. Lruit Foops are sonixxx.

206. Yoshi bleeds fruit juice. No exceptions

207. Spoopy Pichu

208. screw the rules, I have illuminati hair!

209. If you are a girl, don't show your boobs, or you will probably get banned.

210. Chibi-Robo is the most badass franchise in the world. No exceptions.

211. Star Wars is the most badass franchise in the world. No exceptions.

212. A banana riding a mule while wearing a fedora is the most badass thing in the world. No exceptions.

213. ROSALINXXX is proof that sexy is evil.

214. The seven heavenly virtues and the seven deadly sins should be applied to everything.

215. This is the 215th rule.

216. "Frice" is a word. It's the fourth word in the pattern of "Once, twice, thrice..."

217. I miss my therapist.

???. Sacrifice all edgy teenagers to the ancient blood god of Ryl'thg Cuhp'g, who's everlasting, burning flame will consume us all in the F'thgul days of Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn.

219. Who the FUCK stole rule number one and two?!

220. Nevermind, they're back.

221. Ethan bradberry is allowed.

222: SUPPORT TRUMP OR DIE

223: Randomness will get you very far

224: Starting Drama is the best way to gain popularity

225: Worship all mangoes. No exceptions.

226: If your story goes up, SOMEGUY123 will delete it. No exceptions.

227: Sherlock Holmes was gay. No exceptions.

228: CreepyPasta wiki is better. No exceptions.

229: We are number one. No exceptions.

230: Buy everything that LEGO and Capcom releases (dlc included).

221: Furries are losers.

232: You must be depressed or alone if you can see this one

233: There is (no) porn for anything. No exceptions.

234: Always fuck up. You'll be more popular AMIRITE?!

235: Don't listen to what rule 228 says.

236: Gravity Falls is the best cartoon. No exceptions.

237: Pingas

238: I SAID PINGAS!

239: PINGAS PINGAS PINGAS!

240: Half of what I said is a lie.

242: There is no rule 241

243: FAZE THE RAINBOW

244: Add me on Instagram @ice.so.alone

245: Mastodon!

246: Pterodactyl!

247: Triceratops!

248: Sabertooth Tiger!

249: Tyrannosaurus!

250: Power Rangers! Hiya!

251: The balls are inert.

252: SMALL LOAN OF A MILLION DOLLARS

253: {INSERT RULE HERE}

254: WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY SWAMP?!

255: There is no spoon. No exceptions.

256: Cory in the House is the best anime. No exceptions.

257: Rules 1-256 are false, except for the ones that talk about other rules. OH SHI-

258: This rule is a kid now.

259: Rule 258 is a squid now.

259.5: If a pasta ends with "a skeleton popped out" (or "and then a skeleton popped out") it is automatically twice as good as it would be normally.

260: Doing this:

...is a bannable offense.

261: Rule #260 is an exception to itself. OH SHI-

262: "OH SHI-" is now a running gag on this page. Failure to use it every once in a while beyond this point is also bannable.

263: some

264: BODY once told me

265: the world was gonna roll me

266: I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed

267 She was lookin kinda dumb

268 with her finger and her thumb

269 in the shape of an L on her forehead

270: the memes start coming and they don't stop coming
can you handle it when I hit the ground punning
you thought you had me kid but that ship has sunk
your mouth is smart but you're 'bout to get dunked

-Sans

271:hey now, i'm the memelord,
wanna go kid? lets play!
hey now, look at my sword ,
shows over get slayed!
you're whole shticks getting old
only nineties kids get rick-rolled

-also Sans

272: Undertale is not trash.

273: Rule 272 cannot be deleted.

274: Rule 273 cannot be deleted.

275: Rule 274 cannot- OH SHI-

276: Rules 274 through 276 can not be deleted. LOOP SUCCESSFULLY ESCAPED.

277: Characters may not talk backwards because trying to read that is SUPER annoying.

278: There will be no arguing about minor details that a true fan would know anyway, like what color Superman's outfit is, or whether robots have genders, etc.

279: I need to stop adding to this list.

280: Technically I said "I need to stop adding to this list". I didn't write a rule saying I was required to stop adding to this list.

281: Anyone caught abusing loopholes must be injected with a used needle full of dead memes so they get AIDS and cancer.

282: KittyKittenton is love, KittyKittenton is life.

283: OH SHI-

285: Rule 284 does not exist.

286: According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway, because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.

287: I have added more rules than any of you other scrubs. Therefore I am emperor of this wiki. Bring me your virgins.

289: All blood must be hyper-realistic.

290: If a pasta is actually kind of good, but wound up here just because it's about a video game (e.g. "I HATE YOU"), it must be reposted on the Creepypasta Wiki. I vote to make this an actual rule.

291. Any time anything on this thread says "No Exceptions", it actually means "One Exception". No exceptions (OH SHI-)

292. Rules 1 and 2 are true and false at the same time.


Comments • 2



Loading comments...