The Commercial Theory

You know those ads we saw on TV back in the '90s, well they're not true. Don't believe everything you see or hear, it just might be fake, well to start I was hearing rumors of commercials (like the one I will describe) killing people, I thought this as false until it happened. I was going to get a bag of chips so I walked out of my room, as a General Mills commercial started...

As I walked out of the room, I hear mumbled whispers saying 'he's gone.', I shrugged it off, but curiosity got the best of me and I peeked behind the door of my room; which was nearly closed. I saw an animated man, walking with a suitcase, one thing that was off was that he was looking to see if someone or something wasn't there and he finally shrugged it off as a sign of 'thank god', I saw a table where General Mills characters were sitting.

"Is he gone?" asks the man.

"Yep, the coast is clear... but I feel something is spying on us, but I can't be sure..." says the Trix Rabbit, with a face of suspicion. I tiptoed to the door and thought: what the fuck had I been watching?

I then heard a bang from inside my room, then I heard a familiar voice:

"What do you know, Eric?"

I saw it behind the door, my 25-year-old brother, Eric was standing in front of a giant mutant rabbit, Eric, probably, watched the whole thing like I did.

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW?!?" whaled the creature in a slow pitched voice, I had to giggle at the word 'fuck', I am sorry I did. The creature looked at the door and I ran away in shock, but I vaguely saw the creature take Eric back into the TV and they never came back.

I told my mom that Eric had been kidnapped by a giant man and she started to cry, I saw a man (he looked like the man from the commercial), and he walked up to me and kicked me in the leg...

I fell down, bleeding badly, he took out a knife and stabbed my mother...the police came and asked me what happened, but my mother was gone...

I told them a man and another (kidnapped) man had kidnapped my mom and my brother, they said, "YOU MUST BE FUCKING WITH US, RIGHT?!?", I told them 'no' and they replied "FUCK YOU" and ran away. Damn assholes I thought, must have been fakes, and indeed they were...but they weren't of our world...but of the General Mills world...

...Commercials are alive, they will kidnap us and make us become them just like the police, and possibly the man...

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