The Day Where Milk Went Bad, A True Story

So one day I was driving home from my fucking hard day at McDonalds. I was a fucking dumbass little piece of shit intern there. It's pleasant, I know. Then, realization hit me like a brick.

"I NEED TO BUY FUCKING MILK!" I yelled on the top of my fucking lungs.

I swear to motherfucking god I burst someone's fucking ear drums. Maybe it was your ear drums, you little bitchy ass motherfucker. Anyway, where was I? Oh, right. I had to buy milk and well, if you're an average 199,768 year old like me, you know that it's an pain in the motherfucking ass to buy one jug of white ass liquid we call 'milk'. But, wait. If cows give us milk, then shouldn't it be called Cow piss? It's something called fucking logic, and nobody uses it sadly.

I parked my old ass white Lamborghini in the motherfucking parking lot and walked inside the store. I pushed and shoved everyone out of my way, because the milk I need is to fucking precious. I grabbed the milk and ended up grabbing some eggs. I was thinking of HowToBasic when I got my fucking eggs. I spent $1,998,234 dollars on just eggs and milk. But, I didn't have to. I just wanted to spend that good ol' fucking waste of paper money!

I walked back to my car, but then I noticed it was gone! I looked at the other side of the parking lot and saw that bitch named Jeff Le Killer driving away with my car while drinking 88 bottles of fucking liquor. I stood there with a fucking jug of bleach- I MEAN MILK and my HowToBasic eggs. But, want to know the scariest part of all?

This title is misleading.

and this isn't a true story.

and a skeleton popped out and killed me.

YOU'RE FUCKING NEXT!

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