The Don Herdzfelt Story
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"Here, on the moon, I fell in love with a rock." - Future Emily, World Of Tomorrow
Story 1: World Of Yesterday
World Of Tomorrow
I love Don Herdzfelt. He made things like Rejected and that really fucking weird Simpsons couch gag about the supposed Sampsans, which are the Simpsons millions of years in the future. I liked that couch gag because it was a satire on how eventually, the Simpsons will lose all character, and become abominations. But, of course, we are not talking about that right now. We are talking about his short film "World Of Tomorrow." You probably haven't heard of it.... Wait it was fucking nominated for an Oscar? I mean, it does deserve it, but it is THAT known? It doesn't even have its own TV Tropes page... Oh, it does NOW? Shit, all my reasons don't work anymore. Well, either way, it was a REALLY good short film, and I didn't think it could be ruined. But, of course, it does get ruined. My nicolas cage.
The Beginning
I wish I never had a fucking Netflix account. The amazing amount of binge watching me and lots of others do are ridiculous. But it did do something good, showing us all to amazing things. Like me learning about World Of Tomorrow and It's Such A Beautiful Day through it. I mean, I already knew about Rejected, it's Don's most popular short film, but learning about those two and then learning that they were both made by the same fucking guy, But, one day, Netflix got a short film in their library called "World Of Yesterday" and it was supposedly a parody of World Of Tomorrow, made also by Don himself. (Why the fuck would the creator of something create a parody of it itself?) But, of course, it was not a parody. This is what it was.
World Of Yesterday. Finally.
Me, being the dumb human that I am, click on the film saying "WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG????" Don't judge me, Bubsy is a complete bitch. When it started, unlike the huge computer thingy beeping, the huge computer thing started to bleed, and then beeps. Present Emily comes into the room with a knife in her hands, and she runs in too. She looks at the screen with a blank face and starts the call. Present Emily then also drops her knife, and it lands on her foot. It starts bleeding too. "FUCKING NICOLAS CAGE, THE BLOOD IN THIS IS TOO MUCH," I think. I try to get out of the film, but it won't let me! I try to shut down the computer. Doesn't work. I try to unplug the computer. Same thing. While this is happening, Future Emily is talking to Present Emily about death, blood, sex, etc. I go sit down on my chair, knowing that I have to keep on watching this shitty film. Eventually, F. Emily sends P. Emily to the museum, where they both talk about David, and eventually kill David. It was... still pretty fucking dark... This goes on forever, for even more than the original time, 16 minutes. It didn't end though, it repeated over and over again. I couldn't escape. I was stuck on my seat. It just went over and over. And, since I have no food or drinks, I died after a few days. Nobody remembered my funeral.
Story 2: Rejected Nightmares
Prologue
Well, I'm dead. And since I'm dead, I of course come back to life. Why? Because continuity does not exist in this world. Well, I love Don Hertzfelt. You should know that, if you've read my first story. And you should, because this is a fucking sequel to it. Rejected is Don Herdzfelt's most popular short film. It, if you don't know, is about the creator who makes lots of commercials for different things. As time goes on, the shorts get worse and worse until all the shorts mix together into fucking insanity. Most of the shorts were either gory or didn't make any sense at all. It was mostly known as a web video named "Rejected Cartoons" when the full thing was actually called Rejected. Well, I found a sequel video called "Rejected Nightmares," but I don't know what it's about. It's probably a plot to a fucking stupid creepypasta though.
Rejected Nightmares
It started off as the normal "Rejected" screen, but the background was blood red and it says Rejected Nightmares. It starts off with the normal text on the screen, but it called Don a SERIAL KILLER! It even said that all the commercials were allowed, but it wasn't showing the commercials, it was showing the mind of the person who made them. It was very nightmarish, as you have heard. It's like the original Rejected, but with even more fucking blood and insanity! It keeps on going.... The sketches were even darker than before, and I don't know how you fucking do that shit. Eventually, everyone died at the end. The serial killer Don himself killed them all, and that's not a metaphor. It ended though, but something bad happened.
Epilogue
At the end, I was so happy. I wanted to end this shitty short. But, straight after the short, Don Herdzfelt came out of the screen! He came out with a knife, and he screamed "YOU'VE WATCHED THEM BOTH. NOW I'M GONNA KILL YOU!" "That makes no fucking sense!" I screamed at him. "Oh yes it does, YOU BITCH!" Don said. Millions of little people came out saying, "ALL HAIL TLEFZDREH NOD!" That was a hard name to say, so I'll just call him Nod. He said, "TIME TO FUCKING BATTLE!"
Story 3: The Finale
Why?
I don't know. I don't fucking know. I knew, too. I've read creepypastas. I knew they were just setting me up for a stupid finale. But of course, since I'm a piece of shit, I did exactly what Nod was trying to make me do. Watch his shitty fucking shorts. I'm angry as fuck, so this one will have much more profanity than usual. And since I watched his shorts, he came to kill me. I'm smarter than this. I only got 1 B in my entire school life. So I'm a stupid bitch. And now I have to kill him.
Fucking nicolas cage.
Before the battle
"Don't let bastards step on your hands" - Neil Cicierega, Spirit Phone, Spiral Of Ants
If you didn't know, I've been writing about Nod/Don's shorts since World Of Yesterday came out. This is the 3rd one in the series, so read the 2 other fucking stupid stories before this, so it'll make more sense. You should know what happens if you have too. Nod, the evil version of Don Herdzfelt, came out of the screen of my laptop and challenged me to a fucking battle. What happened was ridiculous. And fucking terrible. I hate Nod and myself right now.
The Battle
I don't have a quote. And if I did, it would have been fucking horrible.
Nod looked at me. I didn't know what to do, I didn't have any fucking weapons on me. But Nod did. And it isn't a sword or anything like that. A giant laser came out of his hands, and with this, I got sent to an animated place. I was in one of his fucking shorts. This helped me though, and I was glad that it did. But of course, things got very terrible after that.
He started placing some of his own characters in the animation, but of course, the evil versions that Nod made himself. The Emily's started shooting at me. That guy with the big spoon started hitting me WITH his fucking spoon. The ladies from Ah, l'amour started.... Well, if you've watched it, you should know what... (For those who do not have the time to watch it, they started trying to kill me in very horrible ways, even though I never asked them for a date. Bitches.)
I knew I probably couldn't escape. So, I did something that's really fucking terrible, and you'll find out why in the next paragraph. I reenacted exactly what happened in the end of Rejected. (If you YET AGAIN don't have the time to watch it, I started destroying the entire animation piece by piece and at the end, everyone dies, mainly because of the fucking insane things that happened before hand.) And, you might think that's the end AND also everything is fine, but nope.
Epilogue
No more quotes. Ever.
What I didn't notice until now, 2 years in the future, is that all of Don's work was put into the same place that NOD'S fucking work was in! So I ended up destroying both! And either way, since EVERYBODY died, I was dead too. So I still see Nod. But, greatly enough, he is a much better person. Don is here too, but he only makes shorts for heaven, so the people that are still alive don't get anything. I'll also try to STAY dead this time, I don't want any more fucking insanity happening to me anymore.
And I'm pretty happy with it.
fin.
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