The Doom That Threatens Us All

Late last night I was passing through a sleepy town in the damnable and abominably cursed hills of Kentucky when I come upon a Chipotle that was somehow still open. I stopped in to get a burrito and instructed the dead-eyed, inhumanoidly tall burrito master to load it up with brown rice, black beans, pulled pork, and... wait, what was this green sludgy stuff with little hands and eyeballs randomly forming only to be resorbed into the grotesque, writhing mass? "Sure", I said, "put some of that in there too!"

I arrived home shortly before sunrise and collapsed into bed. My insides felt like all the demons of hell were battling to escape. Suddenly I let rip with a fart so powerful and rank that it defies all description! The windows blew out and ghastly green vapors flowed down into the streets below. I just kept blowing ass for what felt like and eternity before finally passing out.

When I awakened, I found my town had been transformed into a Silent Hill-esque hellscape awash in foul, greenish vapor. The dead shambled about at random, their flesh half eaten away by the acidic miasma. It seems my flatulence now has the power to bring hell on Earth! All day I've been ripping ass, unable to end thus unholy curse. I fear my intestinal turmoil will soon plunge the whole world into chaos. Someone please... stop me before I fart again!

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Credited to TimeCrab3000 

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