The Dress, the Rider, the Octopus

One day, 25-year-old Billy was walking down the street in San Francisco when he suddenly saw Nicolas Cage! He knew Nicolas Cage was really famous, so he started following him. Nic was doing normal stuff. He purchased some ham, bread, cheese, Coke, and chicken. Then he went to a clothing store. There were several dresses in the front. Billy decided to continue following his target into the store. Suddenly, Nic Cage grabbed one of the dresses and ran off with it without paying! Billy was shocked, so he took a picture and called the police. He took a selfie in front of the runaway actor, then decided to chase him. Suddenly, Nic Cage ran into a changing room and got into the dress! This was only the start of many strange events.

Nic Cage started to yell "He's scraping at the door!" and turned into Ghost Rider! Billy saw him get on a motorcycle as Ghost Rider grabbed a corpse that was lying on the street and shoved it into his flaming throat. How could this be? Wasn't Ghost Rider/Nicolas Cage a hero? Ghost Rider suddenly grabbed Billy and the motorcycle he was on started to fly. As they were high in the air, Billy started to scream. However, that was when a giant octopus suddenly emerged from the ocean they were flying over. Ghost Rider suddenly drove his motorcycle into the octopus, revealing it wasn't actually an octopus. It was a mobile secret lair! Ghost Rider dropped Billy on the floor inside the octopus-shaped lair. He then turned back into Nicolas Cage and pulled out a fiery box.

"NO! I LOVE YOU MISTER CAGE!" yelled Billy. That's when Nicolas Cage opened the box to reveal a flaming card that immediately lost its fiery aura when it was pulled out. Inside the card was fifty bucks and a signed book of blu-rays containing every movie Nic Cage was ever in. "Thanks, Mister Cage!" said Billy. "No, problem, dude. Merry Christmas!" replied Nic. Billy had forgotten it was Christmas eve! In his head, Billy thought, "I guess Nic Cage is just like Saint Nick!" Nicolas Cage took Billy on one more flying motorcycle ride and gave him the dress he had stolen as a gift for Billy to give to his mom for Christmas.

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